AITA for giving my mom the wrong start time for my birthday lunch so she'd be on time?
Growing up, she always thought her mom's constant tardiness was just a harmless quirk, a simple struggle with keeping time.
But as the years passed, it became clear that her mother’s late arrivals were more than just bad timing—they were deliberate entrances, a pattern that cast a shadow over every family event and chipped away at her sense of respect and pride.
The frustration simmered quietly, shared only in whispered complaints and secret jokes between her and her grandmother, who tried to outsmart the habit by shifting event times.
Yet, beneath the humor and tolerance, a deep ache lingered—especially on her 22nd birthday, when the late arrival wasn’t just inconvenient, but painfully emblematic of the distance growing between them.
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The original poster (OP) is dealing with the persistent issue of their mother habitually arriving very late to important events, causing the OP embarrassment and disrupting plans, especially on their own birthday.
The central conflict lies between the OP's need for respect and punctuality, and the mother's apparent need to make an entrance, which led the family to resort to deceptive time adjustments, ultimately causing friction when the mother confronted the OP about being lied to.
Did the OP act inappropriately by lying about the start time to secure their mother's timely arrival for a significant event, or was this a necessary, justifiable tactic given years of repeated disrespect and failure to change the mother's pattern of behavior?
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