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AITA for making my son eat off dirty dishes?

AITA for making my son eat off dirty dishes?

This happened two months ago, but he’s still furious over it. I’m 45f. I love my oldest son, but he’s 17 and acts like it. Our family rotates chores- cooking, dishes, cleaning common areas are all done by each family member on different days. My son hates chores and always tries to half ass it to get out of doing it. It’s been a constant battle. Dishes are the worst. He overpacks the dishwasher so the dish detergent can’t even get on the dishes. It just catches on whatever pan he shoved in front. He also doesn’t rinse the dishes at all, so they come out dirty and caked in food. If we want to eat the day after he does dishes, we end up having to hand wash them. He doesn’t care. Any attempt to talk to him is met with a little smirk and he would say, but the dishwasher sanitized it. He knows exactly what he’s doing. The day after his night to do dishes, I went to cook dinner. All the dishes were in the washer still, filthy. I had worked all day. I was exhausted. I honestly teared up seeing this bullshit. I didn’t have the energy to make dinner, let alone do an entire load of dishes first. I quietly called hubby in and he offered to hand wash the dishes I needed. Lightbulb moment. I told him, yes please, but only enough dishes for preparing the food and serving everyone but 17 y/o. I made dinner and called kiddos to eat. 17 y/o sat down and saw his setting was empty. He asked where his plate amd silverware and water cup was. I pointed to the dishwasher and said, tonight you’ll be eating off of the dishes you did. Go pick them out. He went pale and started protesting that it was gross. I quickly cut him off and reminded him that the dishwasher sanitized them. Hubby backed me up. If he wants to eat tonight, he will eat off his dishes. He huffed and said he’d make his own food, which I said no. Eventually, he relented and found the least disgusting dishes and ate his dinner quietly. I felt bad- he looked so sick and grossed out. But I was sick of him wasting time and water and detergent. And it worked! His dishes came out spotless after. Not a speck. But like I said, he’s still furious and I do feel bad now that it’s over and done with. I’m just sick of the weaponized incompetence. He doesn’t realize that his laziness fucks over everyone else in the house. AITA?

James Anderson
AITA for putting my neighbors garbage on her porch because she keeps using my garbage cans?

AITA for putting my neighbors garbage on her porch because she keeps using my garbage cans?

I live in a townhome complex with a pretty strict HOA. I got a new neighbor around six weeks ago. I will call her Elaine. Elaine moved in around six weeks ago, and since she moved in I have noticed her putting her trash in my trash can. Elaines trash makes my trash so full that the bin can not close. She sometimes puts her garbage bags next to my bin also. The city will pick this up, but the HOA does not like to see trash bags or open trash cans in front of the house. They will fine you. Cost for trash pickup in my city is around $300 a year (25/mo) and it costs around $45 dollars to get a bin if you don’t already have one. The first time I saw her doing this, I confronted her. She said that she was waiting for her bin, and she didn’t want her trash to pile up. I said, fine you can put your trash here for now but make sure that the can closes. If not you need to hold it. A month passes by and Elaine is still using my trash can. I asked her what was going on and she claimed that she could not afford to get a bin right now, and apologized. At this point I have received two notices about my trash cans overflowing. I told her she could no longer put trash in my can. Last week, I was off from work. I saw Elaine, again, putting an enormous amount of trash into my trash cans. When she left, I took her trash out of my cans and placed the bags into her porch. It turns out that Elaine went out of town. So the trash sat for about a week in front of her door. It was disgusting. I wasn’t home when she returned, but my wife was. My wife says that she came to our house throwing a fit about the garbage. She said she had several notices from HOA and had been fined, and asked why we put disgusting trash in front of her door. She got into a very heated argument with my wife. My wife called me up and told me about what happened. She thinks I’m an asshole for the way I handled this situation because now we are not on friendly terms with our neighbor. I just don’t think being on “friendly terms” means that we should be taken advantage of. She needs to pay for her trash to he collected like everyone else. Was this an asshole move?

Michael Chen
AITA for exposing a my cousin's boyfriend as a fake navy SEAL?

AITA for exposing a my cousin's boyfriend as a fake navy SEAL?

I served in SWCC, Special warfare combatant-craft crewmen. We operate small patrol boats, and we work with SEALs, usually the people getting the SEALs in and out of places. Our training is quite similar to theirs, and when I heard that my cousin was getting married to a SEAL and when I heard about him, I knew he was a phony. The stories that were relayed back to me, and the shit I've seen from his post was just bullshit. I also heard that my nephew did more pull ups than him, 5, so I know that's horseshit. There's no Navy SEAL who can only do 5 pull ups. Bare minimum is like 10 or 15 to even get into basic training. I never got to meet this guy, and I think he was actually avoiding me because whenever I showed up he always left. I told everyone in the family my concerns, most just ignored me saying i misinterpreted what happened, I'm not a SEAL so i wouldn't know, these ignoramuses were just so stubborn. Well I knew the only way to expose this fucker is to get outside help so I contacted Don Shipley, who is a former navy SEAL and he has a bunch of social media accounts and websites where he posts content of him exposing hundreds if not thousands of fake navy SEALs either by approaching them or calling them and blasting them online. Anyone who suspects someone of being a fake SEAL can submit their info to Don Shipley, he will contact you back with proof of him being or not being a SEAL as he as a record to a database of every navy SEAL. Shipley not only sends proof of him not being a SEAL, he also calls my cousin and he asks my cousin about his service. He calls him out on everything about how none of his service making sense, the main one being he said he was in seal class 111 which would've been like 40 years ago or something. I then sent this to everyone who was attending the wedding in a mass email chain. I was in one that had like 400 email addresses for the upcoming wedding attendees, as well as everyone on his facebook and ig friend's list. I have gotten so much hate from him and his family for this and my cousin is devastated knowing this man is a fraud and a liar, so is everyone else who grew to like him. Everyone seems to hate me, i don't see why i did them all a favor

Michael Chen
AITA for telling my friends mom she choose to have a child at 45?

AITA for telling my friends mom she choose to have a child at 45?

My best friend and I have been best friends since we were 12. We are now 24. Her mom had her at 45. I also want to be clear THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A CHILD IN YOUR 40’S. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE A CHILD IN YOUR 40’S. THIS POST ISN’T ABOUT BASHING MOMS IN THEIR 40’s. Basically I’m married, we are financially stable, and we decided to have a baby. I got pregnant, and my best friend was overjoyed for us. She loves kids but has been really clear that right now she is enjoying being young and doesn’t want to settle down. She doesn’t see herself having children until her mid 30’s. Of course this is absolutely fine. No judgment. During my baby shower my best friends mom kept pouting. She kept going on and on about how she is going to be extremely old by the time her daughter has children and she won’t be able to enjoy them. How she just wishes my friend would get pregnant and settle down now. How it’s not fair to her that she won’t be able to be a grandma. I mean ranting to anyone who would listen. My friend looked really sad. I could tell she was upset. Everyone just looked uncomfortable as she was going on. After the party when everyone left I talked to my friend about what happened. She admitted to me that her mom has been really hard on her about settling down because of her age. But that she’s just not ready to and she needs her to understand that. Flash forward to them meeting my baby recently. My best friends mom launches in again. I just said to her “but Christina you made the choice to have a baby at 45. You had to know there was a chance you might be pretty old by the time you became a grandparent. It’s not fair to try and push Alison into a life she isn’t ready for because you want to be a grandparent.” She got up and left. But my friend thanked me later. AITA?

Emily Rodriguez
AITA for punishing my son by taking away his phone after he deleted my daughter's Minecraft world?

AITA for punishing my son by taking away his phone after he deleted my daughter's Minecraft world?

I (41f) am married to my husband (42m) and we have two kids: our son (11m) who we will call Zach, and daughter (9f) who we will call Lizzie (not their real names for privacy reasons). Lizzie LOVES the video game Minecraft, and has played it nearly every day since we bought it for her on Xbox for her 8th birthday. She is a super artsy kid and loves to create extravagant buildings and structures in Minecraft, and she has shown me her amazing creations many times. Two days ago, she was playing downstairs and Zach asked if he could play with her. Lizzie didn’t let him play even though we have two Xbox controllers, and Zach was very angry for not letting her play. I don’t know why Lizzie didn’t let him play, I was in the kitchen upstairs. Yesterday, when my husband and I were still sleeping, Lizzie started screaming and crying downstairs. She always wakes up early to play. Her world with all of her creations is gone, and she told us between sobs that she can’t get it back, and she thinks that Zach deleted it last night. When Zach woke up, I asked him if he deleted Lizzie’s world, and he started laughing and said that she should have let him play with her. I was livid. Lizzie loves that game so much and her creations were beautiful, and now they’re gone forever, not to mention that she is devastated that the world she has spent over a year on is gone forever. I took my son’s brand new phone away (we had just bought it for him this month for his birthday). My son is acting like this is the end of the world. He says he needs his phone because everybody else at school has one, and he needs to fit in. He is starting middle school this week and claims he doesn’t want to become a social outcast. I told him he can have his phone back in a month, and not having a phone won’t make him an outcast, but he refuses and wants it now. My husband think his that taking away his phone is going too far, and that Lizzie’s game being gone “isn’t that big of a deal,” but by that logic, isn’t Zach’s phone being gone not that big of a deal either? I don’t know what to do, it’s been over 24 hours and Zach won’t talk to me, and Lizzie is still moody. So Reddit, can I get some advice. AITA?

Michael Chen
AITA for telling my dil she showed us who she really was on her wedding day?

AITA for telling my dil she showed us who she really was on her wedding day?

I’m the father of four children. In May my son Neil got married to Debbie. Debbie acted terribly the whole day. Straight up entitled and embarrassing. My oldest daughter was 3 months pregnant and hadn’t told anyone because she has already had one miscarriage. She was barely showing and Debbie picking a tight fitting bridesmaid dress. My daughter was super sick from morning sickness and Debbie told her she looked disgusting and stop taking attention off of her. My son who was best man to the groom (his brother) had his wife seated with some cousins across the room at the reception and not at the family table because she wasn’t immediate family. We did not know this until the reception and tried to have her moved back with our table and Debbie said no it’s her day. It caused a fight and the best man just left before the reception because his wife was snubbed. A few days after the wedding my daughter miscarried again while Debbie and Neil was on their honeymoon. Debbie felt like that was attention seeking. My wife, children, and spouses normally rent a house by the beach for Labor Day and because of continued bad blood between Debbie and the rest of the family they aren’t invited. All 3 of my other children basically said if Debbie comes they aren’t going. So Debbie and Neil got the axe. When Neil asked about it I told him “Debbie showed us who she really was on her wedding day and don’t expect many invites from the rest of the family to do things” Neil was pissed and saying it’s not fair that she is feeling left out because she saw on social media where all the girls (including the snubbed sil, her mother, and my wife) went to Barbie movie dressed in pink and she felt left out. Now he has to tell her she can’t go to the annual beach vacation and she’s feeling hurt. I told him not one person in the family wants Debbie there and I’m sorry that she can’t come. My son had me on speaker and Debbie started crying say she can’t believe how horrible we are and she wasn’t going to go anyways and don’t expect to see her at Thanksgiving or Christmas ever again. I lost my temper at Debbie and I told her the rest of the family would be relieved to hear it.

Rachel Thompson
AITA for telling my husband he has it easy?

AITA for telling my husband he has it easy?

I'm 7 months pregnant. It has been very difficult for me with all the medical stuff and chronic pain I'm constantly dealing with. My husband gets annoyed everytime I bring up how much pain I feel. It's not like I complain constantly but it has slowed me down which made my husband think I'm looking for excuses to not get anything done. Yesterday morning I woke up with terrible back pain. After I vented about it and expressed my discomfort He "snapped" at me and told me that I was acting like a spoilt princess and that I'm a mother, I should start acting like one. I snapped back saying that he doesn't get to dictate how I should feel and deal with what I'm dealing with because he has no idea what it's like. He was like "yeah but we're in this together, I put the baby in there remember?" I told him yes but he's not the one doing the work so he has it easy. He looked at me shocked and went quiet for a minute. He then said "Ah-Ha how typical! Trying to use the "I'm the mom" card against me already?, how much "leverage" are you planning to get with that". Which hurt because he made me feel like I'm milking it. We argued about it then he left and refused to respond to my phonecalls all day. In the evening he got distant and ignored me when I tried to speak to him and then said that telling him he has it easy was way out of line and an awful attempt to discredit his efforts and sacrifices but all he does is provide. AITA?

Emily Rodriguez
AITA for causing my son to lose his only friend?

AITA for causing my son to lose his only friend?

Our 13 year old son has a disability from birth. He uses crutches to walk and has a speech impediment. Other than that, he's very bright and kind. He is even studying everything a grade ahead then what he's supposed to. He's been homeschooled for the last two years because of how severe the bullying got. And it kills me to say it but he's never had an actual friend other than his younger sister. We've tried so hard to facilitate friendships but it's never clicked. Seven months ago, we got new neighbors. My son and their son were the same age and they started hanging out. My wife and I were happy beyond words. My son was also extremely happy to finally have a friend his own age. Last month, we were made aware of videos the boy was making of my son and sending them to children from his school. Very cruel words were used in the video, including the "r" slur. We were heartbroken to find out that our son was aware of the videos and was allowing his "friend" to make fun of him just so they could hang out. Despite his protests, I brought up the videos with the boy's parents. I was furious. To their credit, they were extremely apologetic and the mother was so upset she cried. The boy was very embarassed and was made to apologize to my son. But he's now refusing to become friends with my son again, which has devastated him. I'm now second guessing all my actions and I'm wondering if I should have just reached out to the boy in private. My son didn't want me to involve the parents but I did it anyway. I'm feeling very guilty. My wife is also very upset over the while thing. We've already started therapy for our son. Just wondering if I did the right thing here. My son won't even talk to me anymore.

Michael Chen
AITA For not siding with wife after she took my daughter's diary?

AITA For not siding with wife after she took my daughter's diary?

Me M38 got married to my wife (Nora) F31 five months ago, My daughter (Madison) F12 from my previous marriage is currently living with me and my wife. My daughter is not on good terms with my wife, there is constant tension between the two even though my daughter has been very respectful and keeps to herself. My daughter Madison has a diary where she expresses her thoughts and feelings and write about what bothers her without having to bother anyone with listening. It's her choice to do that and I respect her wanting her own space. Last week, while I was at work, Madison called me and she was crying, she told me that her stepmom took her diary and read through it, and refused to give it back, she said she wanted me to come home immediately. I got home to find Nora and Madison having a screaming match, I asked what was going on and Madison told me that her stepmom snooped around in her room, took her diary and refused to give it back, Nora denied and said she had no idea what my daughter was talking about. I asked my daughter to confirm it but she didn't she just kept saying her stepmom took it, and must've hid it cause it was gone that morning. Nora said she didn't do it, I got stuck I didn't know what to do, my daughter told me to look for it, I started looking thinking she might've forgotten where it was, And I was surprised to find it in our bedroom, I gave Madison her diary back and lied about where I found it, I secretly confronted Nora about it, but she broke down and said that I was supposed to comfort and support her because she read the awful stuff Madison said about her in her diary. I told her she was in the wrong for taking Madison's diary in the first place and causing an issue. She got mad at me and went on about how she was treated and how I was supposed to defend her from this much hate and resentment. I walked out the bedroom, Nora stayed there all day and refused to eat dinner, I brought her dinner upstairs but she refused to take it. I bought Madison a small box to keep her important stuff in so she won't lose them. Madison and Nora don't even talk to each other. I don't know if I handled this situation properly my wife is so pissed at me and disappointed that she's hurting and I didn't do anything to make it right.

Rachel Thompson
AITA for my response when asked "why are you still single"?

AITA for my response when asked "why are you still single"?

I (36 year old single female) get asked this question a lot and since it comes from co workers, extended family, friends of friends then responding rudely by saying "non of your darn business sweety" still didn't seem to work (not anymore lol) I try to keep good relationships with those around me for a number of reasons, but this question just pisses me off. especially since the reason for why I'm single is pretty traumatic and so is very personal. they feel sorry for me I can see it because they'd list all my good traits then say it's a shame that no man is willing to 'win' it. WTF? unfortunately, I get caught off guard a lot by people (especially women) asking this question but since I can't control the fact that they ask (I really wish they'd just leave me the heck alone) I decided to use this method that I came up with very recently. for example, if a woman asks why I'm still single I'd just tell her "because I still haven't met your husband/boyfriend yet. while acting somewhat slu tty in the moment. so far it seemed to shut them up. it's kind of passive aggressive, yes. but I just feel some sort of power doing it. Well, few weeks ago, my sister introduced me to her boyfriend's sister and once she sits down she asks "how old are you? I tell her and she gasps and goes on to ask why are you still single?" I look at her and say "it's because I still haven't met your boyfriend yet" (she has a boyfriend yay her) in the slu ttiest tone I could muster while also pulling "the duck face" pose. she looks at me in utter shock then puts her coffee down while my sister stares at me like wtf?!?!. conversation gets awkward and minutes later she gets up saying she wasn't feeling well and leaves quietly. my sister blows up at me asking wtf I just said and I start arguing with her about how this woman was a snoop. she told me to get over myself and "act my age" and stop being childish which she assumed is the reason why I'm single and will always be "cause no man wants to be with such a nutjob". her boyfriend said I upset his sister and is expecting apologies from me because of what I said to her. So, AITA?

James Anderson
AITA for telling another kid’s mum to mind her own fucking business?

AITA for telling another kid’s mum to mind her own fucking business?

My (f30) husband is typically the one to do the school run on his way back from work but he’s got a nasty sinus infection so I took over. My daughter (f7) has a new classmate. I haven’t met their parents yet. When I got there, a group of mums I know was standing their waiting for their kids and I joined them. The new kid’s mum was there as well. I got there, we chat and get acquainted and she asked what I did for a living. I said that I ran i small business from home (I genuinely do. I handmade jewellery and sell on platforms such as Etsy or amazon and make more than I ever did in my corporate job). Her answer shocked me. “So you’re on benefits then.” My mouth dropped and I said that no, I run my own business. She said she knows my type and I’m just lying to not look bad (upper middle class neighbourhood). I told her to mind her own fucking business. She called me a scrounger and asshole without manners. I removed myself from the situation. When I was leaving with my daughter, I heard one of the other mums telling her that I’m really successful. I wished I turned around to see her face. Now, I’m thinking about this and I feel bad. It wasn’t my proudest moment and I feel that I’ve made school runs awkward for ny husband now. AITA? Because if so, I’ll have to apologise

James Anderson
AITA for not wanting to go to my Uncles wedding?

AITA for not wanting to go to my Uncles wedding?

So my uncle said he is getting married this summer to is girlfriend of 11 years. I was very happy for him I told him congratulations, he told me I could come but I had to cut my long hair. I asked him why and he told me that his GF is insecure about her hair being not that long and does not like guys with long hair. I told him sorry then I'm not going, He asked why and I told him I have a weird shaped head and it does not look good with short hair and I'm insecure about my head shape. I told him this and he told me man up men don't need to feel insecure, I told him I guess I won't go to your wedding. I got calls from my Parents and other family members to stop being a baby and cut your hair. I asked his GF personally over the phone and wanted to know if she really felt this way she said yes I had also asked if I could put it in a bun, put on a hat, or put it in a ponytail but she said no. I also asked her does she really feel insecure about my hair being longer and she blew up at me saying that I needed to cut my hair and that I was being selfish so I suspect she is insecure about it. I was raised in a family that loves weddings to the point if one person doesn't do one thing right they will flip out on you and you will never hear the end of it.

Sarah Mitchell
AITA for telling my sister in-law her daughters name isn't Irish?

AITA for telling my sister in-law her daughters name isn't Irish?

I'm Irish. My husband is American. We live in the US currently but met back in Ireland. His sister has always been obsessed with my accent, my name and the fact that her brother married a real Irish person. She and her husband had a very recently, a little girl. My sister in-law excitedly told me ages ago that she was giving her daughter an Irish name and she couldn't wait for me to hear it. Around that same time her husband asked me if the name was actually Irish (he told me what it was) and I said no. I also pointed out that the Irish middle name they did use was the American spelling and not one used back home. I didn't say anything to her because she never asked and I wasn't supposed to know the name. Apparently they argued over the name a lot and he tried to convince her to stop saying it was Irish. Her daughter was born and she announced the name to us and the rest of their family. She had the name printed on a banner so the spelling of the middle was clear too. She talked about wanting an Irish name for her because of me. Her husband told her to stop saying it was Irish. She was so mad at him for claiming it wasn't and I jumped in. I said the first name was Scottish, not Irish, and that the middle name is not the Irish spelling or anything close to it. She told me the name was Irish, that Irish and Scottish had the same stuff. I told her there was some overlap sure but we still had our own distinct names and the one she had chosen was clearly Scottish. Then she told me she chose the least dumb spelling for the middle. She is so pissed that I pointed this out to her. She's pissed at her husband for disagreeing with her in the first place. Drama has ensued and everybody is hearing about how shitty I am for trying to convince her that her daughters Irish name isn't, in fact, Irish. AITA?

Michael Chen
AITA for telling my wife not to talk to my dad, but I will continue to?

AITA for telling my wife not to talk to my dad, but I will continue to?

A month ago my oldest turned sixteen. For his sixteenth birthday, the plan was to let him skip school, get to the DMV when it opens, take the driving test, go on a small road trip, be back around when school gets out and then all go out for a family dinner. On the weekend would be his celebration with his friends. Skipping school for the DMV test was planned in advance, but the road trip was a surprise. A few days before the road trip my wife asked me to take our three year old with me that day. I said I wasn't taking a toddler to the DMV; that place is a cesspit. Also the road trip is for additional driving practice before he's able to drive unsupervised. A toddler distracting him is not a good idea. My wife said she wanted the day to herself and if I wasn't willing to take our toddler, the birthday stuff needs to be moved to the weekend so I can. I said I would take our toddler to work with me the next day, but our oldest's birthday is his day, so he's the priority. She got angry and said she's made a hundred sacrifices for our kids, and saying she isn't a priority (not what I said) is disgusting. It was a big fight. My son's birthday she texted me that I'm an asshole multiple times. At the dinner she was in a bad mood. After everyone ate my dad asked us all to go out to the parking lot. He handed the keys to his car to my son, saying he was getting a new one. He also said he would continue to pay the insurance for a year. My wife asked me if I knew about this, and I didn't. She didn't believe me. My wife has called and texted my dad multiple times asking if he is going to do this for all of our kids, saying he shouldn't have done this without asking us first and telling him if he can't do this for all the kids, he needs to take the car back. Eventually he told her shut up and stop bothering him. My wife told me I need to stop talking to my dad. She said he texted offensive language ("stop bothering me woman" which she says is sexist) towards her and I need to support her. I said she needs to stop talking to my dad, not me. I'll support her not talking to him. My wife said I am disrespecting her, that I won't listen when she says she needs help and let my family treat her poorly. I think she is creating these situations herself. She looks for offense and then finds it. Am I the asshole?

Rachel Thompson
AITA For telling my neighbor to get F-ed when he told me to remove my doorbell camera?

AITA For telling my neighbor to get F-ed when he told me to remove my doorbell camera?

So lately, There have been a number of burglaries in the area I live in. My wife and I were among those who got burglarized and most of the stuff we lost were packages and electronics. My wife and I both work long hours so we're not home most of the time and despite taking precautions, we still are concerned for the safety of our belongings as well as other things. So I decided to get a doorbell camera which frankly has become a necessity and it's cheap to buy ($199) and easy to install. And so far we were able to catch a number of thieves in act (to my surprise some of them I knew personally and were from the area) which helped lot in getting our stuff back. Onto the issue: So my neighbor and I were discussing this with few other neighbors and I showed him a video that was taking by the camera to explain how we were able to identify the individuals who tried to steal stuff. I was fastforward-ing the footage but He suddenly freaked out and pointed at his wife who was at the door to visit my wife. I was confused when he asked how long I been keeping this video/and if I made copies of it. He then proceeded to tell me it did not feel right to see his wife being recorded by the doorbell cam and the fact that I didn't get rid of this part since it had nothing to do with catching the thieves made him unconfortable. I apologized for any misunderstanding and promised that it had nothing to do with his wife we had few people stand at our door who were shown on our cam so I wasn't just his wife. He cut the conversation and left. Then came back in the evening to ask for how long I will be keeping this camera. I asked why and he said he wasn't sure about his wife being recorded and asked me to remove it. I said no then he suggested I install one inside but I still said no. He got all pissed and said that I was acting inappropriately and mean after he came to me with his concerns expecting me to understand that he doesnt want me having 'footages' of his wife. I told him his wife can stop coming over if he was so worried but he went on about never telling his wife what to do or where to go. He insisted I remove the cam but I told him to get F-ed and never bring this up again. He left and got others involved, they told me I should be more considerate of my neighbors feelings and understand where he's coming from but I stood my ground and refused to remove the camera. My wife thinks I was being a jerk to our neighbor and his wife and have some respect for them but I don't think I was being disrespectful. Was I?

James Anderson
AITA? For telling my husband he deserved to be called an idiot by my sister for what he told her kids during Thanksgiving dinner?

AITA? For telling my husband he deserved to be called an idiot by my sister for what he told her kids during Thanksgiving dinner?

First Thanksgiving without our beloved BIL (Sis' husband, 30s, passed away months ago from a serious medical condition). He and my sister and their kids used to spend Thanksgiving at my parents' house every year. This year, seeing how sad my sister has been, we weren't sure whether she wanted to join us, but were surprised when she showed up with her kids while we were about to eat, and brought her youngest SIL too. We were happy to see them. My sister took off her jacket and sat down at the table, and we started eating and talking about a bunch of stuff when my husband stopped and casually pointed at the empty chair and said, "Damn, that's where Thomas used to sit wearing that same brown trucker jacket and talk about his plans for the future even when sick." I looked at my sister and saw her grudgingly staring at him as he went on to speak to the kids directly, asking if they miss daddy, and they nodded. He then looked at my sister, then back at the kids, and said, "oh please don't be so sad because Daddy's just gone to sleep just like we all do...except that he won't ever wake up." We were all shocked as my niece started crying suddenly, and my sister got up from her chair and started unloading on my husband, calling him an idiot and saying he should have kept his mouth shut and not talked to the kids like that. My husband got up from his seat and got into an argument with her, and I got involved trying to calm them down, but my sister told her SIL to get the kids ready to leave and took her stuff. I tried to follow, but she told me to leave her alone; I've done enough already (?*). I went back inside, and my husband said he was just trying to comfort the kids and didn't understand why she went off on him like that. I was pretty upset, and later that night, my sister called, saying her kids are now traumatized and terrified of sleeping, thinking they too won't wake up just like their dad after what my husband told them. I said, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," then literally got into a big argument with him as he tried to say he was the victim and my sister was overstepping by calling him an idiot and humiliating him in front of the whole family. I said he deserved to be called an idiot and more after the messed-up line he told the kids and let him know that he just traumatized his niece and nephew while this whole situation was preventable. He threw his hands up in frustration, took his phone and bag, and left the apartment after saying we were all being too much and unfair to him over an innocent attempt to comfort the kids. He thinks I should be with, not against, him. Context: And in case it's relevant, my husband has always disliked my BIL, and they were never close, which is why I was dumbfounded when he mentioned him at the table. Most of my family are saying he did it to be malicious, but he says they're wrong and need to get over themselves. He even said he'd return the similar gifts my BIL used to get for the kids on Christmas after this.

James Anderson
AITA for not cooking a western enough meal when having guests over?

AITA for not cooking a western enough meal when having guests over?

My boyfriend (24M) and I (21F) have recently hosted a dinner at his place with some of his coworkers and their partners. He recently got a promotion at work and his friends over there were asking for a treat. I'm South Asian (Bangladeshi) and sometimes when I have leftovers from some of the traditional dishes I cook; I pack it for his lunch. Apparently many of his coworkers liked the smell and look of his food and some even tried it and liked it. So when I asked him if we should just invite them at his place where I would cook some traditional dinner; he got excited and said yes. He gave me a heads up that two of them are vegetarian. For dinner, I cooked white rice, tomato chutney, mashed potatoes, spinach, onion fritters, fried eggplants, chinese vegetables, spicy egg curry, chicken curry, lentils with green mango. For dessert, I made gajar halwa (carrot based pudding). I also served veg strips snack and beverages before dinner as an evening snack. All of them seemed to love my cooking and kept complimenting me throughout the night. They also asked me many questions about the ingredients and what is the best way to eat each of them and I was happy to answer those. After they all left, my boyfriend started ranting "what was that all about?" I got very confused and apparently when he assumed I was gonna cook traditional meals, he thought it would be more like what they serve at the weddings (biryani, chicken roast, spicy beef curry, kebab, fried fish, and other type of veggie dishes). He thought what we served was not up to the standards; especially when guests are over. I argued that most of my dishes were vegetarian friendly and these are comfort food which are also quite tasty since they were all seasoned properly and made from scratch. He keeps saying that he should've just taken them to a restaurant and that I'm lucky none of them are Indian or something. Otherwise they'd be able to tell that we just fed them "grass". I was very hurt by that comment since I put a very high effort into all of that cooking when I don't even live there. I want some fresh outside perspective. Was I TA?

Michael Chen
AITA for getting mad at my sister for telling my gf about our family's wealth?

AITA for getting mad at my sister for telling my gf about our family's wealth?

My family is low key wealthy, but my parents have made sure that we are never flashy about it. We live in the same place we've lived for about 15 years, don't have flashy clothes and cars, and generally make sure we're spending money on experiences rather than objects. My younger sister, who is totally spoilt and for some reason feels extremely entitled to "her share" of the wealth, just turned 21. I think part of it is her finally getting information about her trust and in general how we stand. I'm 25, and the older one, so I sorta know about all this for a while now. Anyway, long story short, my sister ended up going car shopping with my gf for expensive new cars (Porsches!). My dad had not approved anything so I don't know what she's going to do but apparently she flashed my dad's credit card and talked up the salesmen about how much money she has to spend. My gf was shocked that me driving a simple unassuming 10 year old Lexus will have a sister throwing 100k at a car! We had a huge discussion and ended up fighting about it - she was shocked at roughly how much money we had and told me I was a tad selfish for not mentioning it when she had college and medical debt. Honestly, we've only been dating for 2 years and I was thinking after about a year I would propose if things are going well and start this discussion. It's all happened a little too soon. I'm really mad at my sister and kinda laid it out on her. Told her how immature and selfish she was and how she is undoing everything our parents worked hard for to install values in us. She told me I had to grow up and I'm a wet blanket. AITA here?

Michael Chen