AITA for saying my special birthday dinner's aren't special for me and I don't want them anymore?
The original poster (OP), a 16-year-old male, describes a long-standing situation regarding family dining habits es**blished due to his step-siblings' severe food allergies (peanuts, nuts, dairy, and sh**lfish).
When the OP moved in with his mother and step-father at age 7, the household became a strict allergen-free zone, which eventually limited all takeout and dining out to a single restaurant that accommodated all restrictions.
The OP states that he dislikes the food at this single restaurant and has felt resentful for years, especially when celebrating special occasions like birthdays there.
After past conflicts where his parents insisted he appreciate the ability to eat out together, the OP recently told them he no longer wanted a special birthday dinner because he hates the food.
This led to his parents becoming angry after family members skipped a planned birthday dinner that the OP refused to attend, leaving the OP to question if he was wrong for his stance.
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The core conflict revolves around the OP's need for personal acknowledgment and enjoyment during celebrations versus his parents' strong desire to maintain rigid safety protocols and the appearance of family unity through shared, restricted dining experiences.
The OP feels his genuine displeasure with the food is being dismissed as disrespect, leading him to actively reject the tradition entirely.
The central question is whether the OP was justified in refusing the mandated birthday dinner, thereby potentially causing family friction, or if his obligation to accommodate the es**blished household dynamic outweighed his desire for a personally enjoyable meal.
Should the parents prioritize rigid conformity, or should they adapt traditions to allow for individual preferences, especially on special occasions?
Commenters Came in Hot with Their Takes:
This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.