AITA for making it absolutely clear my wife and I are not naming our child after my dad's late wife who d*ed a few months ago?
The original poster (OP) and his wife recently learned they were expecting their first child shortly after the OP's father lost his wife of 20 years.
Following this news, the OP's father and his teenage half-siblings strongly expected the OP to name the new baby after the deceased stepmother, either as a first or middle name.
The father even suggested using a masculine version of the name if the baby was a boy, seeing the pregnancy as a gift from his late wife.
The OP immediately informed his father that they were not considering the deceased woman's name or anything similar.
This refusal caused tension, leading the OP and his wife to distance themselves from his father and half-siblings, whose anger over the decision has remained intense.
As the birth approaches, the OP has firmly stated that the naming decision is final and not open for further discussion, leading to increased anger and criticism from his father and half-siblings, making the OP question if he was wrong to be so absolute in his rejection.
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The core conflict revolves around the OP's right to autonomy over his child's name versus his father's desire to use the naming convention as a tool for grief processing and honoring his late wife's memory.
The OP feels justified in honoring his actual mother instead, even covertly, while his father perceives the OP's firmness and rejection of his wife's name as deeply insensitive and disrespectful, especially given the timing of the death and the pregnancy.
The debate centers on whether the OP's absolute firmness in rejecting the requested name, even with a privately chosen alternative honoring his biological mother, was an overreaction that unnecessarily escalated family conflict, or if the father's expectation const*tuted an inappropriate imposition on the OP's family unit.
Should the OP have handled the initial request differently, or was firm denial the only appropriate response to an unreasonable demand?
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