Am I the AH for telling my husband that his mom can watch me give birth if my mom gets to watch him have his prostate exam

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A 25-year-old woman (OP) and her 31-year-old husband have been trying to conceive for five years and are now expecting their baby at 36 weeks.

While finalizing her birth plan with her doctor, the OP discussed her wishes for a private delivery, intending for only herself and her husband to be present with the midwife.

The OP's mother-in-law (MIL) overheard this discussion and became increasingly upset when told she would not be present during the birth. After repeated assertions of the OP's boundary, the OP left to stay with her sister.

Two weeks later, the husband continues to insist the OP is being selfish by excluding his mother, leading the OP to question her marriage just before delivery.

Am I the AH for telling my husband that his mom can watch me give birth if my mom gets to watch him have his prostate exam
‘Am I the AH for telling my husband that his mom can watch me give birth if my mom gets to watch him have his prostate exam’

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When the Crowd Speaks, It Echoes Loudly:

What started as a simple post quickly turned into a wildfire of opinions, with users chiming in from all sides.

The central conflict revolves around the OP's fundamental need for privacy and control during a highly vulnerable medical event versus the strong emotional expectations and perceived ent*tlement of her husband and mother-in-law regarding participation in the birth experience.

The OP utilized a provocative counter-example involving an invasive medical exam to ill**trate her point about privacy, which caused immediate conflict.

The core question remains whether the OP should compromise her deeply held boundary for the sake of marital harmony immediately before labor, or if her husband needs to validate her bodily autonomy to ensure they can support each other during the birth.