AITA for asking my current wife to stop body shaming my ex-wife ?
The original poster (OP), a 45-year-old man, is currently married to his second wife, aged 29. This marriage took place a few years after his divorce from his first wife, aged 47.
The OP notes a difference in physical appearance between the two women, stating he is thin while his current wife is heavier, and his ex-wife is heavier than both of them, though he personally prefers a partner to be on the heavier side.
The conflict arose because the OP's current wife has repeatedly called the ex-wife "fat" in a negative way.
When the OP asked his wife to stop this body shaming, she reacted by accusing him of still being in love with his ex-wife, leading the OP to question if his insistence on protecting his ex from insults while affirming his love for his current wife makes him the as***le.
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The central conflict revolves around the OP's desire to maintain respect for his ex-wife, who is the mother of his children, while simultaneously reassuring his current wife of his love and commitment.
The OP feels caught between defending a non-present party from insults and managing his current wife's insecurity, which manifests as an accusation that defending the ex implies lingering romantic feelings.
The core question is whether the OP was wrong (an as***le) for asking his current wife to stop insulting his ex-wife, despite the current wife interpreting this request as evidence of unresolved feelings for the ex.
Should the OP prioritize protecting the ex from derogatory language, or should he have focused solely on validating his current wife's feelings and ignoring the insults directed externally?
Commenters Came in Hot with Their Takes:
It didn’t take long before the comment section turned into a battleground of strong opinions and even stronger emotions.