AITA for not wanting to adopt one of my wife's children?
In a blended family woven with love and complexity, a man faces a heartfelt crossroads.
His bond with his young stepdaughter, forged through years of care and tenderness, leads her to ask for a permanent place in his heart and life as her legal father.
The promise of adoption shines as a beacon of belonging and hope, yet beneath it lies an emotional storm that threatens to unravel the delicate balance.
Caught between the innocent hope of a child and the fractured ties with a resentful stepson, he must confront the painful truth: love cannot be demanded or evenly divided.
The weight of fairness clashes with individual bonds, revealing the raw, unspoken struggles of family, acceptance, and the longing to be truly seen.
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The original poster (OP) finds himself in a difficult situation where his desire to legally formalize his relationship with one stepdaughter, Becky, is being conditionalized by his wife, who insists he must also adopt her older son, James.
The conflict centers on the OP's strong emotional bond with Becky versus his lack of connection with James, a situation his wife interprets as unfair favoritism rather than a reflection of the existing relationships.
Given the wife's ultimatum—no adoption for Becky unless James is also adopted—the core question remains: Should the OP proceed with offering adoption to James solely to secure the adoption of Becky, or is it ethically sound to refuse an adoption where a genuine parental bond does not exist, even if it means sacrificing the adoption of the child who actively wants it?
From Supportive to Savage: The Crowd Responds:
The crowd poured into the comments, bringing a blend of heated opinions, solid advice, and a few reality checks along the way.