AITA for refusing to babysit my deceased best friend's kids after her husband's betrayal?
The original poster (OP) details a deeply personal situation involving the death of her best friend, "Emma," two years prior due to cancer. The OP served as Emma's primary caregiver during her illness, indicating a very close bond.
During the treatment period, the OP discovered that Emma's husband, "Mike," was having an affair. Following Emma's death, the OP confronted Mike about his in***elity, who then pleaded for silence regarding the children (ages 9 and 6).
Recently, Mike contacted the OP asking her to regularly babysit for him and his new live-in girlfriend—the same woman he had the affair with—claiming it was what Emma would have wanted.
The OP refused, feeling disgusted by the request, which has led to social friction, with mutual friends and the OP's family pressuring her, suggesting she is being vindictive by withholding support from the children.
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The central conflict revolves around the OP's strong emotional loyalty to her deceased best friend and her moral objection to supporting the new relationship formed by her friend's widower, contrasted with the perceived needs of the innocent children involved.
The OP feels conflicted between honoring her friend's memory and enduring family/social pressure to act as a caregiver for the man she views as a betrayer.
The debate centers on whether personal moral boundaries regarding in***elity and betrayal must yield to the practical needs of children after a tragedy, or if the OP is justified in refusing support to someone who disrespected her friend.
Is the OP upholding her loyalty to Emma, or is she unfairly punishing the children for their father's actions?
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The crowd poured into the comments, bringing a blend of heated opinions, solid advice, and a few reality checks along the way.