Update: I told my wife she could leave and I wasn’t going to kick my kids out.
The parent (OP) is currently living with their four children after their partner, Amanda, moved out to stay with her parents. The situation has become complicated by the older two children expressing deep distress about living with Amanda full-time.
The older children reported feeling intensely anxious, fearing they would be sent back to their mother or become homeless if they made any mistake.
This fear has caused them to be worn down trying to be perfect, leading them to suggest moving out themselves to protect the younger siblings, which has caused the OP significant distress and doubt about the future.
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The Original Poster is now managing significant emotional fallout, having learned that their older children feel unsafe and are sacrificing their well-being to maintain s**bility.
This contrasts sharply with Amanda's extreme demands for reconciliation, which focus almost entirely on controlling a*sets and separating the existing family units.
The core question becomes whether the OP can reconcile a partnership that requires the alienation and emotional sacrifice of existing children, or if prioritizing the s**bility and mental health of all four children necessitates ending the relationship entirely.
Is the proposed arrangement recoverable, or is it fundamentally incompatible with a healthy family structure?
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