AITAH for refusing to give my inheritance to my mom after she disowned me for marrying my husband?
The individual, a 31-year-old man (OP), describes a strained relationship with his mother, Kara, rooted in her long-standing, traditional beliefs regarding same-s*x relationships and race.
When the OP came out as gay five years ago and introduced his then-boyfriend, Marcus (who is Black), his mother reacted strongly, disowning him and refusing to attend his wedding three years later.
The OP found support only from his grandfather, Jack, who accepted him and Marcus. After Jack pa*sed away two years ago, he left the OP an inheritance used to buy a home with Marcus.
Recently, after five years of silence, the mother reached out, citing health issues and mounting mortgage/bill problems, and asked the OP to use his inheritance to bail her out.
The OP refused, leading to accusations from his mother that he is heartless for holding a grudge, leaving him to question if he was wrong.
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The OP is currently experiencing guilt despite having clear justification for his actions.
The central conflict lies between his mother's immediate need for financial aid, stemming from a difficult life situation, and his need to maintain boundaries against someone who actively rejected him and his husband for years without offering any genuine amends.
The core debate is whether familial obligation, especially when faced with potential homelessness, overrides past emotional harm and the lack of demonstrated reconciliation from the offending party.
Should the OP prioritize his mother's immediate financial survival, or is prioritizing his emotional safety and the integrity of his relationship with Marcus the correct stance when the request is entirely self-serving?
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