AITAH for asking my future in-laws for money?
The original poster (OP), a 27-year-old earning over $170,000 USD annually, is engaged to Tim, whose family possesses significant wealth described as "old money." The OP has a successful career, while Tim is a teacher whose income is supplemented by a trust fund, aligning with his family's tradition of public service.
Recently, Tim's parents seriously suggested that the OP should quit her job after the wedding to become a stay-at-home mother, stating they find it embarra*sing that she currently earns more than Tim.
When the OP proposed a solution—an unrecoverable trust funded by the parents to cover her lost earnings for 35 years—or a prenuptial agreement guaranteeing half of Tim's trust in case of divorce, the parents reacted with anger.
The OP is now uncertain whether her demands for financial security are reasonable, especially since her own mother found her approach too focused on money.
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The OP is currently in a difficult position, feeling a strong need for financial security after being asked to sacrifice a high-earning career for the sake of her fiancé's family's traditional expectations regarding gender roles and income parity.
The central conflict lies between the OP's entirely reasonable request for protection against future financial ruin and the parents' apparent expectation that she should sacrifice her career without demanding reciprocal financial guarantees.
Should the OP proceed with giving up her career based only on the expectation of spousal support from a trust fund that is protected by stipulations, or are her demands for a guaranteed, independent financial safety net (the trust or the prenup) necessary precautions when entering a high-net-worth family structure?
The debate centers on whether prioritizing career sacrifice necessitates enforceable financial safeguards.
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