AITA for telling my wife it’s not ‘cute’ for her to encourage our teenage daughter to expect her boyfriend to pay for EVERYTHING in their relationship?
For eighteen years, a couple nurtured a strong marriage built on shared values of equality and independence, raising a daughter they hoped would stand tall and self-reliant.
Their sixteen-year-old’s shy new boyfriend, visibly nervous and humble, seemed worlds apart from the confident young woman they had helped shape, his quiet admiration tinged with disbelief that she could truly want him.
Yet, as the daughter’s first romance blossomed, the mother’s advice began to shift in unexpected ways, revealing a tender vulnerability beneath her usual strength.
The father watched with a mix of surprise and unease as the lessons of feminism gave way to old-fashioned notions, sparking a silent struggle between ideals and the enduring hope to protect their child’s heart.
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The original poster is facing a significant conflict stemming from a difference in parenting philosophy regarding financial expectations in their daughter's new relationship.
While the OP champions equality and independent contribution, the wife is actively encouraging the daughter to accept financial benefits from her boyfriend, justifying it as a traditional or "cute" dating phase.
Given that the OP and wife have es**blished beliefs in equality, the central question is whether encouraging a young woman to accept financial exploitation under the guise of romantic tradition undermines the principles of independence they aimed to instill, and how this internal disagreement should be managed without damaging the parental relationship or the daughter's developing values?
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