AITAH for "getting his hopes up" and then telling him i had an abortion and serving divorce papers?
The individual posting states that they have reached a breaking point in their relationship. The situation involves a necessary, non-emergency surgery that the poster has been waiting for, scheduled for a few months away.
The poster's husband was aware of the need for this surgery earlier in the year. The core conflict arose because the husband refused the compromise of a vasectomy, leading to an unexpected pregnancy after months without intimacy.
Upon testing positive, the husband reacted with extreme anger, accusing the poster of in***elity and demanding paternity tests for their existing children, which he said directly to the children.
This sequence of events led the poster to seek an abortion and file for divorce, only for the husband to become apologetic when paternity tests confirmed he was the father, forcing the poster to confront the immediate consequences of ending the pregnancy and the marriage.
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The poster is currently in a highly conflicted emotional state, having taken drastic steps—ending a pregnancy and initiating divorce—in reaction to their husband's extreme accusations and refusal to cooperate on family planning.
The central conflict is between the poster's need for physical safety and autonomy, which led to the abortion and separation, and the husband's sudden shift to wanting reconciliation and expressing distress over the consequences of his prior actions.
The debate centers on whether the poster was justified in terminating the pregnancy and immediately filing for divorce given the history of the husband's volatile behavior, or if the sp*ed of these actions was an overreaction to the immediate stress.
The central question for consideration is: Was the poster's decision to end the pregnancy and file for divorce a necessary act of self-preservation following the husband's dangerous accusations, or did these irreversible steps unnecessarily escalate a situation that could have been managed differently?
Users Wasted No Time Telling It Like It Is:
The crowd poured into the comments, bringing a blend of heated opinions, solid advice, and a few reality checks along the way.