AITA for refusing to get tested to see if I’m a bone marrow match for my dads wife?
For eighteen years, a chasm of silence and pain has separated a daughter from her father, built on years of neglect and cruelty masked as family adjustments.
The wounds inflicted by a stepmother’s deliberate cruelty and a father’s deaf indifference have festered into a deep, unhealed scar, turning what should have been a protective bond into a source of lasting trauma.
Now, at thirty-four, she stands resolute in her refusal to forgive—not because she cannot, but because her father’s failure to stand up for her and protect her from harm speaks volumes.
His unwillingness to even consider testing to help the very woman who tormented her reveals a betrayal too profound to overlook, forcing her to confront the painful truth about the family she once hoped to call her own.
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The original poster (OP) maintains a deep, unresolved hurt stemming from years of mistreatment by her stepmother and a profound sense of betrayal by her father, who failed to protect her.
Her refusal to be tested for a bone marrow match is a direct consequence of this enduring resentment, viewing the request as an unacceptable demand from someone who abandoned her.
Is the OP justified in prioritizing her unresolved trauma and refusing a life-saving request from the individuals who caused her significant harm, or does the potential for saving a life outweigh the history of parental failure and step-parental cruelty?