WIBTA for being upset at my wife’s reason for marrying me?
The original poster (OP) describes his wife (31F) as a highly practical individual, often approaching life decisions through a cost-benefit a**lysis, which he admires despite her a**lytical nature contrasting with more traditionally romantic viewpoints. The conflict arose when OP asked his wife why she married him, seeking an affirmation of love.
Instead of a romantic declaration, the wife explained her decision as being based on trust in OP's judgment and her belief that marriage requires more than just love, citing past negative experiences.
OP felt hurt and secondary, viewing himself as merely a 'logical choice' rather than someone chosen for deep affection. He is now struggling with whether this logical commitment is sufficient for marriage.
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OP is currently experiencing emotional distress because his wife’s expression of commitment, which she views as a sincere compliment based on logic and trust, does not align with his desire for an emotional confirmation of love.
The central conflict is the difference between his expectation of a love-based foundation for marriage and her preference for a decision rooted in rational a*sessment and long-term compatibility.
The reader must consider whether a marriage founded on deep, reasoned trust and shared goals is inherently less valid than one based primarily on intense emotion.
Is OP right to feel slighted by his wife’s logical decision-making, or is he misunderstanding a deep, practical form of commitment?
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