AITA for telling my biological daughter I was nothing more than an egg donor and that her real mother is the woman who raised her?

Eggdonormother 2222 comments

Twenty-five years ago, the original poster's (OP) close friend, Clara, and her husband, James, were struggling with infertility.

Clara was unable to conceive using her own eggs and asked the OP if she would consider carrying a baby for them using the OP's egg and James's s**rm.

Although hesitant, the OP, who already had two children, agreed because she wanted to help her friend.

Nine months later, their daughter Bella was born, and Clara and James raised her as their own, with the OP always being known only as "Auntie." The OP's own children knew the truth about Bella's biological origins, but the OP left the decision of telling Bella to her parents.

Recently, Bella discovered the truth through a DNA test and by looking through her parents' private documents, leading to an explosive confrontation where she claimed the OP was her real mother and demanded the OP pay for her wedding.

AITA for telling my biological daughter I was nothing more than an egg donor and that her real mother is the woman who raised her?
‘AITA for telling my biological daughter I was nothing more than an egg donor and that her real mother is the woman who raised her?’

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Internet Users Didn’t Hold Back:

The thread exploded with reactions. Whether agreeing or disagreeing, everyone had something to say — and they said it loud.

The original poster is facing a crisis where Bella, the daughter she carried, is rejecting her legal and primary mother, Clara, and demanding the OP adopt the role of 'real mother' based solely on biology.

The OP feels she upheld her promise by helping Clara become a mother and stands by her decision not to interfere with the parent-child relationship she did not build.

The central question is whether the OP is wrong for strictly maintaining the boundary of being an egg donor and not accepting the maternal role Bella is now projecting onto her, or if Bella is justified in feeling betrayed and seeking the biological connection, even at the cost of deeply wounding Clara.

Should the OP meet with Bella to offer emotional support within the es**blished 'aunt' role, or should she firmly refuse contact until Bella respects Clara’s motherhood?