I Let My Wife Take Her Coworker to Dinner but Needed Space After Feeling Completely Betrayed
The original poster (OP) and his wife have been together for seven years and married for three. Last year, the wife experienced a miscarriage, which was a difficult event that the OP supported her through extensively.
Recently, the wife asked to take a French coworker out to dinner at a French restaurant, which made the OP uncomfortable because he felt dinner was too intimate compared to breakfast. Despite his discomfort, the OP agreed to let her go, hoping it would help her mental state.
Following the dinner, the OP admitted he was still uncomfortable and needed space, leading him to take a solo outing with his sister and nephew, which further seemed to hurt his wife.
Now, the OP feels better but sees his wife is still sad, leading him to question if he was in the wrong.
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The central conflict revolves around the OP's internal struggle to manage his feelings of insecurity regarding his wife's professional social outing, and how he handled the need for personal space by creating distance from his wife without fully addressing the underlying issue.
The core question is whether the OP's actions—agreeing to the dinner but then withdrawing emotionally and physically to cope with his resulting discomfort—were an overreaction that unfairly hurt his wife, or if he was justified in seeking necessary time away to process his unresolved feelings about the situation.
Strong Takes and Sharper Words from the Crowd:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.