My (26M) Gf (27F) said she wanted to end our relationship because I fell asleep out of exhaustion.
The user, a 27-year-old male (OP), describes his nearly one-year relationship with his 26-year-old girlfriend, noting that while they have had many arguments, neither party has been unfaithful.
Both partners entered the relationship aiming to help each other improve, with the girlfriend es**blishing healthy habits like gym attendance and meal prepping, and the OP making significant personal changes, including losing 55 pounds through d*et and exercise.
The central issue revolves around the OP consistently taking the blame for problems, even when he believes he is not at fault, and feeling that his extensive efforts to meet his girlfriend's expectations are never sufficient.
This culminated recently when, after a night of little sleep due to an argument, the OP took a two-hour nap on a day he did not have to work, which his girlfriend interpreted as laziness and a sign that she was 'done' with the relationship, leaving the OP questioning if he is delusional about his efforts.
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The OP is currently in a difficult emotional position, feeling exhausted and unappreciated because he believes he has made drastic, positive changes—including major health shifts, financial contributions, and maintaining household standards—only to have them dismissed over a single instance of needing rest.
The central conflict is the gap between the OP's significant, sustained effort to adhere to the es**blished routines and his girlfriend's focus on minor deviations or perceived slights, often leading her to check out of the relationship.
Is the OP's perception that his girlfriend is failing to see his significant progress accurate, or is he at fault for not meeting an implied standard of perfection?
The question for debate is whether the OP should continue striving to meet an ever-moving target set by his partner, or if this pattern of blame and dismissal indicates an unsustainable relationship dynamic where effort is fundamentally undervalued.
The Internet Sounded Off — and It Got Loud:
The crowd poured into the comments, bringing a blend of heated opinions, solid advice, and a few reality checks along the way.