AITAH for Not Pursuing a Relationship After Learning My Date is Transgender?
The original poster (OP) is a cis lesbian woman who recently began using dating apps.
She generally felt that profiles specifying "no trans" were unkindly exclusionary, although she personally is only physically attracted to partners with female ge***alia. The OP matched with and went on a highly successful date with a beautiful woman.
Midway through the date, the match disclosed that she is transgender and has not had bottom surgery.
After realizing her physical preferences prevented a romantic future, the OP politely ended things the next day, leading the date to accuse her of leading her on and being discriminatory. The OP is now left questioning if her decision and handling of the situation were appropriate.
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The OP found herself in a difficult conflict between her genuine connection with a person and her es**blished physical boundaries regarding s*xual compatibility.
While she was honest and kind in communicating her decision after the date, the other party felt misled and hurt by the outcome.
The central debate rests on whether honesty about physical preference at the point of realizing incompatibility outweighs the risk of causing emotional distress upon disclosure.
Should the OP have proactively sought clarification on her physical needs earlier, or was her initial approach of giving the connection a chance the most respectful course of action?
Strong Takes and Sharper Words from the Crowd:
The community had thoughts — lots of them. From tough love to thoughtful advice, the comment section didn’t disappoint.