AITAH for leaving my family without a turkey after my mom criticized my fiancé and said she wouldn’t be a good wife and mother?
A 29-year-old man became engaged to his fiancé, Julia, a few weeks prior. He describes his relationship with his mother as close, but notes that his mother has historically disapproved of Julia.
The mother views Julia, who is very career-oriented and not sk**led in cooking or home decoration, as too different from her ideal partner for her son, often suggesting Julia would not be a dedicated wife and mother.
During Thanksgiving at the mother's house, she unexpectedly asked Julia to prepare the turkey, despite Julia expressing concern due to her lack of cooking experience. Julia and the narrator decided to purchase a fully prepared turkey from Whole Foods instead.
When they arrived and revealed the store-bought turkey, the mother became furious, viewing it as a lack of effort and respect, and escalated the situation by telling the narrator she did not believe Julia was the right person for him.
The narrator defended his fiancé, leading to them leaving the gathering with the turkey, which caused further conflict with the narrator's sister afterward.
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Get the latest stories delivered to your inbox.
The narrator currently stands firm in supporting his fiancé, Julia, believing the conflict stems entirely from his mother's judgmental expectations regarding traditional domestic roles.
While the narrator feels his side is owed an apology for the disrespect shown to Julia and for ruining the holiday, the family suggests the issue lies with Julia's perceived failure to make an effort to bond with the family through traditional means.
The central debate appears to be whether the mother's request was a genuine, if poorly executed, attempt to foster family bonding through shared tradition (cooking), or if it was a deliberate test of Julia's willingness to conform to the mother's rigid standards for a 'wife.' Should the narrator apologize for leaving, or does the mother need to apologize for her critical reaction and undermining statements about the engagement?
When the Crowd Speaks, It Echoes Loudly:
The community had thoughts — lots of them. From tough love to thoughtful advice, the comment section didn’t disappoint.