My boyfriend wants me to become a housewife when we get married yet I've got big career goals.
The user, a 26-year-old woman, is in a four-month relationship with her 22-year-old boyfriend, who is from Eastern Europe while she is from Southern Africa.
They share a strong love and a common goal of marriage, despite differences in their current career stages and financial situations.
The conflict arose when the user inquired about the division of household labor and gender role expectations post-marriage, asking if they would share ch**es or hire help.
Her boyfriend responded by stating that if she were home all day, it would be unfair for him to come home and also help with ch**es, clarifying that he expects her to take on the full traditional role of a housewife, cook, clean, and raise children, and not work so she has more time for him.
This expectation directly conflicts with the user's ambitious plans to pursue a Master's and Doctoral degree, leaving her uncertain about the future of the relationship.
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The user is facing a significant conflict where her strong desire for a shared, modern partnership that supports her career ambitions clashes directly with her partner's deeply held expectation for a traditional marriage based on his cultural background, requiring her to potentially sacrifice her entire professional future for marital s**bility.
Given the partner seems unshakeable in his stance that she must become a full-time homemaker dependent on him, the central question for debate is whether the foundational love and shared goal of marriage are enough to bridge this fundamental disagreement on gender roles and career autonomy, or if this incompatibility necessitates ending the relationship before marriage.
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