Aita for not sleeping with my husband untill he gets a vasectomy?
The original poster (OP), a 35-year-old female, describes a recurring and stressful situation regarding unintended pregnancies with her 30-year-old husband.
She notes that every time the husband has been in charge of birth control (BC), they have conceived another child.
They already share four children, with the timeline detailing pregnancies following the use of condoms after twins were born, and subsequent pregnancies after an IUD was removed due to a car accident injury.
For over a year and a half, the OP has urged her husband to get a vasectomy, as hormonal BC is not an option for her due to medical reasons. When bringing it up, the process seems to restart repeatedly, with excuses preventing the procedure.
This issue is compounded by the recent, unplanned loss of a pregnancy around 19 weeks, which was emotionally devastating, especially as the husband offered little support during the event.
The OP is now left doubting their relationship and future, feeling extreme emotional turmoil after a recent s*xual encounter where her husband allegedly removed his condom without her consent.
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The OP is currently in a state of extreme distress, oscillating between intense anger and a desire for comfort from her husband, which she recognizes as conflicting with the v***ation she feels.
The central conflict is between her need for absolute certainty regarding contraception—demanding a vasectomy as the only acceptable next step—and the husband's consistent avoidance of this permanent commitment, which has now led to a profound breach of trust.
The core question for consideration is whether the husband's repeated failures to secure contraception, culminating in a potential non-consensual act, are fundamentally incompatible with rebuilding trust and maintaining the relationship, especially given the severe emotional toll of the recent pregnancy loss, or if the es**blished emotional dependency prevents the OP from accepting the depth of the betrayal.
Commenters Came in Hot with Their Takes:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.