AITH for telling my daughter that the birth of her baby bothers my wife?
I (57 M) have been married to my wife, Jennifer (55 F) for 10 years. I have a 25-year-old daughter, Ca*sie, whose biological mother struggled with severe addiction, leading to the termination of parental rights.
Jennifer and Ca*sie developed a very strong bond over the years, which was especially meaningful because Ca*sie lacked consistent mothering. The situation became complicated three months ago after Ca*sie gave birth to a baby boy.
Following a happy hospital visit, Jennifer broke down crying in the shower, revealing deep, usually hidden grief related to the tragic loss of her own daughter years prior, who would have been the same age as Ca*sie.
Thinking he was protecting his wife, the OP then contacted Ca*sie's husband and canceled their attendance at a planned welcome home dinner, citing Jennifer’s emotional distress.
This action led to harsh texts from Ca*sie, and now, three months later, Jennifer and Ca*sie are estranged, leaving the OP questioning his decision.
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The central conflict revolves around the OP's unilateral decision to communicate his wife's private emotional struggle to their daughter and subsequently decline a family event on their behalf.
While the OP acted from a place of protective love for his wife, Jennifer, this action v***ated her sense of autonomy regarding how her grief is shared and managed, leading to severe conflict with Ca*sie.
The core question is whether the OP was justified in prioritizing his perception of his wife's immediate emotional need over her es**blished social commitments and her relationship with her daughter, or if he overstepped boundaries by speaking for her.
Should he have sought Jennifer's consent before communicating the sensitive reason for their absence, even if she was distressed?
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