AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after my sister handed out a "Family Code of Conduct" contract?
The OP, a 32-year-old woman, has been the host of the annual family Thanksgiving dinner for the past five years at her home.
This year, her 29-year-old sister attempted to implement strict new guidelines for the gathering, presenting printed copies of what she termed a "Family Code of Conduct." This code included detailed rules on conversation topics, dress code, and even a*signed seating determined by "optimal personality compatibility," with the sister acting as the enforcer.
When the OP refused to enforce these rules in her own home and told her sister to host if she wanted such control, the sister accused her of being ungrateful, leading the OP to cancel hosting the dinner.
The OP is now facing conflict with her mother and brother, and she is unsure if she was wrong to defend her hosting autonomy.
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The core conflict is between the OP's desire to maintain a relaxed, traditional hosting environment and her sister's attempt to enforce rigid, formal controls over the family gathering.
The OP prioritized maintaining her boundaries and control over her own home event, resulting in the cancellation of Thanksgiving at her house and resulting family disapproval.
The central question remains whether the OP was correct to firmly reject her sister's dictates, thereby protecting her autonomy but risking immediate family conflict, or if she should have temporarily conceded to the sister's demands to maintain the peace and secure the annual tradition.
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