AITAH for not letting my wife keep her old habits after we had a baby
The user, a 39-year-old man (OP), is experiencing significant conflict with his 34-year-old wife regarding her time commitment to her demanding hobbies and friends.
The core issue stems from pre-child agreements where the wife reportedly promised to scale back her schedule, a commitment the OP feels she is now ignoring following the birth of their one-year-old daughter.
The wife continues to dedicate extensive time to her hobbies, often involving trips and late-night activities, frequently leaving the OP alone to care for their infant daughter alongside his two older children from a previous marriage.
After the wife recently informed him, rather than asked, that she would be taking a five-day hobby trip and is now planning another international trip during the OP's scheduled family vacation, the OP feels overwhelmed and questions if his desire for a balanced family life makes him controlling.
The central question is whether his stance against her current level of absence is reasonable or overly restrictive.
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The OP finds himself in a difficult position, feeling disconnected from his wife and burdened by the disproportionate caregiving responsibilities, especially when she prioritizes extensive solo activities over es**blished family plans.
The conflict highlights a severe disconnect between the expectations set before having a child and the reality of their current roles, leading the OP to feel more like a roommate than a partner.
The debate centers on balancing individual autonomy, specifically the wife's need for personal fulfillment through hobbies, against the es**blished commitment to shared parenting and family time.
The reader must consider: Is the OP justified in demanding significant behavioral changes based on prior agreements concerning childcare commitments, or is the wife within her rights to maintain her es**blished social schedule, even if it requires significant support from the OP?
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