AITA for saying I owe my ex's wife nothing and being quietly glad my kids don't consider her their second mom?
The user, a 30-year-old woman, details the complex co-parenting situation following her divorce from her ex-husband (32m) when their son was two months old.
She and her ex had already separated during the pregnancy, and she co-parented their older daughter (now 10) throughout that difficult time.
After the divorce was finalized, interactions remained minimal until the ex introduced his new partner (now wife, 33f) two and a half years later.
Conflict arose when the wife took offense to the user handing the children directly to the ex during exchanges, later escalating to accusations that the user was 'hogging' the children and demanding to be accepted as a second mother.
This tension increased after the wife made false reports to Child Protective Services (CPS), which were dismissed.
The user now questions her feelings and responses regarding the ex's recent demands that she encourage the children to bond with and call his wife 'Mom.'
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When the Crowd Speaks, It Echoes Loudly:
The thread exploded with reactions. Whether agreeing or disagreeing, everyone had something to say — and they said it loud.
NTA.
The user is in a conflict where she feels justified in her negative feelings towards her ex-husband's wife, especially given the past hostility, false allegations, and disrespect shown toward the user.
While the user states she has not actively discouraged the children's relationship with the stepmother, she admits to being pleased that the children do not view her as a second mother, which directly contradicts the ex-husband's expectations.
The central debate is whether the user is wrong ('AITA') for openly stating she owes the stepmother nothing and for feeling private satisfaction that the children do not view her as a parental figure, versus the argument that she should prioritize the children's relationship with their father's current spouse for the sake of peace and the children's perceived best interest. Should the user remain emotionally distant, or is she obligated to facilitate a deeper bond?