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AITA for telling my son he has to go to university, get a job, or get out?

Michael Chen 6925 comments

A father watches his eldest son drift without purpose, refusing to chart a course beyond high school. Torn between love and discipline, he echoes the hard lessons of his own youth: pursue education, find work, or leave the nest.

The weight of expectations hangs heavy, not from lack of means, but from a fierce desire to shape character and resilience.

Behind the stern ultimatum lies a story of sacrifice and grit—a man who once chose to sail the world, working tirelessly rather than succumbing to ease.

Now, he stands firm, determined to ignite that same fire in his son, even as his wife worries over the harshness of his resolve. This is a family at a crossroads, where love tests the boundaries of tough love.

AITA for telling my son he has to go to university, get a job, or get out?
‘AITA for telling my son he has to go to university, get a job, or get out?’

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This Topic Lit Up the Comments Section:

What started as a simple post quickly turned into a wildfire of opinions, with users chiming in from all sides.

The original poster (OP) feels justified in upholding a strict expectation for his 17-year-old son to choose between university or employment upon turning 18, viewing this as necessary preparation for adulthood, despite his own family's wealth.

This expectation directly conflicts with his wife's belief that imposing such terms is cruel, especially given their financial ability to support the son's education.

Is the father correct in enforcing a strict 'work or school or leave' ultimatum on his adult-age son, based on his personal history and an earlier agreement with his wife, or is the mother correct in advocating for continued support due to the family's financial security and the son's current lack of direction?

MC

Michael Chen

Social Dynamics Researcher & Advice Columnist

Michael Chen brings a unique analytical perspective to relationship dynamics, having conducted extensive research on social interactions and human behavior. As a former academic turned writer, he translates research findings into actionable insights. Michael's work focuses on understanding the 'why' behind our social choices.

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