AITAH for telling my husband he will never be allowed in the delivery room with me again
The user, a 28-year-old woman, describes the beginning of her difficult labor experience with her husband, Shawn (32M), after recently having their first child.
The labor began early in the morning when she was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant with a large baby. Initially, the pain was manageable but progressed, causing significant discomfort.
Despite her increasing pain, Shawn refused to get out of bed to support her, insisting he needed to save his energy for when the labor was 'proper.' When he finally came downstairs hours later, the labor advanced rapidly, leading to a difficult 10-hour active labor period.
Following the birth, Shawn made an extremely inappropriate comment to the male doctor who was stitching the user's severe tears, leading the user to question his suitability as a birth partner in the future.
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Commenters Came in Hot with Their Takes:
The community had thoughts — lots of them. From tough love to thoughtful advice, the comment section didn’t disappoint.
The original poster feels profoundly let down and violated by her husband's behavior during the birth, especially after he dismissed her early pain and then made light of a very sensitive medical procedure while knowing her history of sexual assault.
Shawn has apologized, attributing his actions to nerves, but the user cannot move past the feeling of betrayal and a lack of support during a vulnerable time.
The central conflict is whether Shawn's actions—his initial lack of support, his frequent absences during active labor, and his highly inappropriate comment to the doctor—were excusable due to extreme nerves, or if they represent a fundamental failure to respect his wife's emotional and physical needs.
Should the user insist on excluding him from future births in favor of her mother, or is his apology sufficient for him to remain present?