AITA for refusing to make a wedding gift for someone who once humiliated me in front of a client?
In the fragile dawn of her career, she poured her soul into a gift meant to captivate hearts and showcase her unique vision.
Every detail was a thread of her passion, woven from distant artisans and heartfelt craftsmanship, a testament to her dedication and promise.
But in a cruel twist, the very trust she cherished was shattered by a silent betrayal, leaving her brilliance hidden beneath someone else's shadow. The weight of stolen recognition crushed her spirit, turning hope into heartbreak.
What was meant to be her breakthrough became a painful lesson in invisibility, as laughter echoed around her, and her talent was dismissed as mere logistics. In that moment, she faced not just lost opportunity, but the deep ache of being unseen and unheard.
A few years ago, I was just getting started as a personal gift curator, working hard to build a reputation with ultra-selective clients.
One of the first big breaks I got was from a close college friend, *Avery*. She referred me to her fiancé's tech startup CEO, and the job was to create a custom engagement gift for his daughter.
I poured everything into it, commissioned a bespoke inkwell from Kyoto, paired it with a handwritten letter from a calligrapher in Florence, and wrapped it all in a hand, dyed silk box from a 4th generation artisan family in India.
The CEO loved it. So did his daughter. I thought I was finally being seen for what I could do. Then I found out Avery told them *she* designed the gift.
She said it offhandedly at a party we both attended, "Oh, I just gave the idea to GoldSealPeak. You know how she is, great at logistics, not much of a creative." Everyone laughed, including the CEO.
He never hired me again. I was devastated. It wasn’t just the work being taken from me; it was the humiliation, the erasure, in front of people whose respect I had earned. I never confronted her. I just...
backed away and poured myself into work. Fast forward to now: Avery is getting married. She reached out and asked if I’d “do my magic” and curate something unforgettable for her new husband. I said no.
I told her, kindly, calmly, that I wished her well, but I no longer felt comfortable collaborating after how things played out with the CEO. I said it with grace.
I even offered her a list of other luxury gift services. She flipped. Said I was holding a grudge, that I was being unprofessional, that it was *just a joke back then*.
Her bridesmaids are now commenting things like “You’ll regret being this bitter,” and “You’re ruining your reputation.”
But here’s the thing: I’m *not* bitter. I'm hurt. I’ve done a lot of healing since then.
I’ve built a client list from scratch. I've sent gifts to the mountain, top proposals, hospital rooms, and retirements filled with tears and champagne. I’m proud of who I’ve become.
But I can’t forget what it felt like to watch someone laugh as they took credit for the heart I put into something so meaningful.
And I won’t put myself back into that dynamic, no matter how pretty the packaging.
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.
Medical_Mountain_895 - :- Why would you even talk to her after that? Why didn't you set the ceo straight? You need to start standing up for yourself. Especially if you want to run your own business. You'll need a thick skin.
BeachinLife1 - :- I would have said, "Oh no, YOU are the 'creative,' so you come up with something yourself." NTA!
stitchingdeb - :- NTA - there’s no benefit to you or your business to reward her behavior. More than likely she would claim credit for her husband’s gift and still leave you holding the bag. And, also more than likely she wouldn’t pay for service, because “friends “.
ScarletteMayWest - :- NTA You cannot trust Avery. You owe her nothing. Her being upset is an Avery problem. Block and move on.
Fancy-Meaning-8078 - :- When I just started in my field I had a horrible experience with a client who spoke very rudely to me. One of the higher ups took over for me.
Smoothed everything over and then told me a simple truth: The saying the customer is always right is a misconception, we don't subscribe to it when they are wrong, rude and downright 'not good people '.
He told me to never let anyone disrespect me and my professional position for money. He concluded by saying the client might think he is always right but he sure doesn't have to be our client.
(Also told me we are successful enough to not need that kind of business and a bad client does more damage than one who isn't ours).
Nta It's ok to fire a potential or existing client if you know that partnering with them do not benefits you, undermine you or it's an impossible client to please.
knight_shade_realms - :- NTA she took credit for your work once, I guarantee she'll do it again. You aren't being bitter. You're being smart She can figure it out. She's the "creative" after all, isn't she?
Barabararan - :- Don't delete the messages. Don't pick up their calls and let them write it all down. When they try to ruin your reputation, you can prove your innocence.
The individual is standing firm in their decision, prioritizing self-respect and emotional safety over maintaining a potentially toxic friendship and professional connection.
The central conflict is between the past betrayal—where their creative work was discredited and credited to another—and the present expectation from the friend that they should immediately resume providing high-level professional services without addressing the prior harm.
Is it an overreaction to refuse a professional request from a friend who previously stole credit for significant work, or is this refusal a necessary boundary protecting hard-earned professional integrity and emotional well-being?