AITAH for refusing to lend my coworker my car after she called me irresponsible for driving it?
In a world where judgments often overshadow understanding, a man’s pride in his worn but cherished car becomes a silent testament to resilience and love.
Despite the mocking laughter and harsh words from coworkers, he stands firm, embracing the imperfections that make his car—and his spirit—uniquely his own.
Then, when vulnerability strikes the one who once scorned him, an unexpected request challenges the boundaries of pride and prejudice.
In that moment, the man faces a choice: to hold onto past grievances or to extend grace, proving that true strength lies not in appearances but in compassion.
I (28M) work at a mid-sized office and have a pretty noticeable car: a bright orange 20-year-old Honda Civic that I’ve lovingly fixed up over the years.
It’s loud, it’s old, but it runs great, and I take pride in it. My coworkers often poke fun at it, calling it a “go-kart” or a “clown car.” I laugh it off—because honestly, I love my car.
Recently, one of my coworkers, *Sarah* (35F), has been particularly vocal about it. Last week, she made a snide comment in the break room, saying: *“I can’t believe you actually drive that thing.
It’s so irresponsible. What if it breaks down and causes an accident?”* I rolled my eyes and said my car is perfectly safe. Fast forward to yesterday. Sarah came to my desk, visibly stressed.
Apparently, her car broke down, and she needed a vehicle to pick up her kids from school. She asked, *“Could I borrow your car for the afternoon? Just a couple of hours, I promise.”*
I was stunned.
I reminded her of her “irresponsible” comment and said: *“If my car isn’t safe enough for me, I don’t think it’s safe enough for you or your kids.”* She looked embarrassed and said she “didn’t mean it that way,” but I stuck to my no.
I don’t lend my car to anyone, especially after her constant judgment.
She ended up scrambling for a ride from another coworker, but now she’s giving me the cold shoulder and telling others that I’m “petty” for holding a grudge.
Some of my coworkers are saying I should’ve just let her borrow the car despite everything, but others think she had it coming. Now I’m wondering—was I too harsh?
Should I have just let her borrow the car despite everything?
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HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.:
Users didn’t stay quiet — they showed up in full force, mixing support with sharp criticism. From calling out bad behavior to offering real talk, the comments lit up fast.
BulbasaurRanch - :- Sounds like her giving you the cold shoulder is perfectly welcome. Doesn’t seem like the type that having a relationship is worth the effort. Trash takes out itself sometimes.
Independentvoter40 - :- NTA - Who lets someone drive their car, with liability issues out there no way.
judgingA-holes - :- NTA - See I'm so petty that ever time I would see her I would start asking has she gotten a new car yet because clearly it's irresponsible of her to drive a car that breaks down all the time, and tell her that maybe she needs to get an old civic like you because you don't have that problem. But I mean, that's just my petty ass.
Maximal_gain - :- NTA your car, your choice. my insurance won’t cover another person driving it period. Unless they are on my insurance.
MsChrisRI - :- “I’m not holding a grudge. Sarah’s always calling my old car an accident risk. What if it broke down with her children in it?”
sttaydown - :- NTA and any coworker who believes you are could have just as easily leant their car instead and see how that plays out.
StyleBeneficial3008 - :- Fuck that! You’re NTA. Let me talk shit about you all the time, but now I need you to let me use your car... get the fuck out of here with that bs! Good riddance you don’t need her bitchy ass around you anyway.
The individual in this situation experienced continuous teasing regarding a personal possession they value highly.
When a challenging situation arose for the coworker who was doing the teasing, the individual chose to prioritize personal boundaries and past hurt over offering immediate assistance, leading to social friction at work.
Given the history of judgment versus the immediate need for transportation, was the decision to refuse the car loan a necessary act of self-respect, or did it escalate a workplace misunderstanding into unnecessary conflict?