AITA? Did I mock my sister’s religion?
In a quiet lunch that should have been simple, a sharp misunderstanding ignited a rift between siblings.
What began as a casual comment about clothing spiraled into a deep emotional conflict, touching on faith, respect, and the fragile boundaries of family love. The tension reveals how delicate the balance is when personal beliefs and family dynamics collide.
Now, caught between wanting to honor her sister’s feelings and staying true to herself, she faces the challenge of navigating an invisible minefield of emotions and expectations.
The pain of possibly losing connection with her niece and nephew weighs heavily, as she struggles to find a path toward forgiveness and understanding without losing her own voice.
My sister is Christian and I’m not. We were out to lunch with her family. She was saying my button up blouse that showed no cleavage was too low cut and I was flashing the whole restaurant (which I was not) .
I made a comment trying to say she was a prude and said, “calm down Christian Mary”. Fast fwd a couple of days she told me her kids were offended by this because I was mocking their religion.
I didn’t even remember saying this, but I probably did.
My sister said she couldn’t even remember the convo but it obviously upset her kids and I need to apologize and never wear a low cut shirt again because they’re offended by it. Am I the asshole?
Mind you, my sister and her husband frequently say God da**it when upset. Her kids watch the simpsons.
I plan on apologizing, but how do we go forward because she’s acting like if I slip up again I’m never gonna see her kids? I just feel like I already walk on egg shells around them and it’s hard to do.
How do I talk to her about this because we both get worked up?
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REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.:
When users weighed in, they held nothing back. It’s a raw, honest look at what people really think.
k23_k23 - :- NTA SHE was the AH, not you. HEr religion should impact HEr, not you. It is not YOUR religion. "and I need to apologize and never wear a low cut shirt again because they’re offended by it." ..
Don't give in to this bullshit. Tell heR: The reasonable way is never again to make demands like that, because it is her religion, and you don't believe in all that. " I plan on apologizing," .. don't. Just ignore her.
notmenotwhenitsyou - :- NTA - people need to stop forcing their own beliefs and ways of life onto others who arent the same and thus be ready to be called out for doing so. if it was legitimately not the right time nor place and the outfit was crude, different story.
her comment came from her beliefs and modesty means nothing if she is going to be judgy of others, something frowned upon in her own religion. she is to be modest, not you. its her own doing and you werent even mean.
harristusc - :- I would say I would be happy to apologize just as soon as she apologizes for trying to shame me with her twisted ideology.
FarmhouseRules - :- EHS. Yes you mocked her religion but Christians of all people have no right to judge others. The whole point of true Christianity is understanding that everyone is the same at the foot of the cross.
People who claim to be Christian and look down at others who aren’t as “good” as they are have completely missed the point.
Gaberahamj - :- Nta lol I doubt the kids even cared she's just butthurt that you stood up to her. For the record commenting on your cleavage in front of her kids was way more inappropriate that what you said.
AltruisticActuator80 - :- NTA. Your comment was tame. Tell her to keep her religion to herself. I once told a pushy religious family member it would be a cold day in hell before I prayed at dinner.
She wanted me to say grace knowing full well I am not religious. Don't give her an inch, she'll take a mile. They always do.
ExecutiveDysfunc - :- My response would be: “Look, it’s your religion not mine.
Attempting to call my shirt flashing or low cut is not even close to accurate and attempting to force your religion on me and trying to control my body is not acceptable.
It’s your job to teach your kids to be understanding and empathetic, not my job to cater to that kind of cultural domination.
They will have healthier lives in the long run if you teach them to be accepting, as Jesus did his followers.” (those last five words might be crossing the line but this is bullshit and reading this pissed me off for you)
The individual finds themselves in a difficult position, caught between upholding their personal style and identity and managing the religious sensitivities and perceived offense of their sister's children.
The core conflict centers on whose standards for acceptable behavior and expression—personal autonomy or adherence to family religious expectations—should take precedence in their interactions.
When family relationships require constant self-censorship to avoid offense, how can boundaries be established that respect both personal freedom in dress and sensitivity toward the religious values of close family members, without resorting to threats of exclusion?