AITA for refusing to split the cost of a $1000 bed bug treatment with my roommate when she’s the one who brought them in?
When compassion becomes a silent torment, the invisible battle begins.
Living with someone who dedicates her life to helping those in need should be a source of pride, yet it has brought an unexpected nightmare into their shared sanctuary—first lice, now bed bugs.
The very kindness that defines her work has woven a thread of chaos, threatening the delicate balance of their home and testing the limits of empathy and fairness.
Caught in the crossfire of empathy and self-preservation, the other roommate faces a heartbreaking dilemma. The infestation is confined, yet the threat looms over their entire living space, demanding a costly and invasive solution.
As the lines blur between shared responsibility and personal accountability, the silent tension grows, revealing how compassion can sometimes come at an unbearable price.
My roommate (25F) works with people experiencing homelessness, and while I completely respect the work she does, there’s a history of bringing stuff home. Last year we dealt with LICE (literal nightmare for girls in their twenties) and now it’s bed bugs.
She recently found a bed bug in her car, which then led her to get an inspection done. The pest control company confirmed they were in her car and her bedroom but nowhere else in the house (not the couch, no other beds/rooms).
For whatever reason the company recommended/insisted treating the WHOLE house just to be safe, but again they didn’t find them anywhere else.
Roommate wants to go ahead with treating the entire house and since it’s now the whole house being treated not just her room she wants to split the $1000 treatment cost. I really don’t think that’s fair.
She’s clearly the one who brought them in from her work, she’s also very messy so I’m not surprised this happened.
I told her that if the bed bugs are only in her space she should have to pay it all herself, additionally since the inspector said it was only in her room she should look into a treatment plan that only involves her room and car.
She insists that the whole place needs to be done and it’s unfair for her to carry the cost alone.
I have refused to help pay, I’m perfectly fine if she doesn’t treat my room and only does her room (I lowkey think she’s being scammed by the company telling her she needs to do the whole house).
I’ve told her even if she goes through with treating the whole house or even if there were bed bugs in my space, I would expect her to pay for the extermination since she’s the one her brought them home.
Now she’s annoyed with me making me feel like I’m being selfish and unreasonable for not wanting to help with the cost. But I honestly don’t see why I should pay for a problem I didn’t cause, especially when it’s only impacting her room. AITA?
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HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.:
Users didn’t stay quiet — they showed up in full force, mixing support with sharp criticism. From calling out bad behavior to offering real talk, the comments lit up fast.
Wise_Session_5370 - :- NTA She is responsible for bringing them, so she is responsible for getting rid of them. And the company is right. The whole house does need to be done. Bed bugs are an absolute nightmare to get rid of.
As a semi-profession traveller, they are one of the things that I am acutely aware of. I am actually amazed that any professional company is willing to do this for only $1,000. It can easily cost several times that. How deeply are they actually treating the place?
loki2002 - :- NTA If there were other infected areas in the house I would say it is reasonable for you to split the cost because anyone can bring home bed bugs accidentally and treating the common area and your room benefits you but just because she may want to prophylactically treat other areas of the home does not mean you need to share the cost. Also, depending on your state and lease your landlord may actually be responsible.
IamIrene - :- NTA. She invited the problem into your entire home. This is 100% her responsibility. There are a lot of ways to work with homeless and not pick up what they're carrying...kwim?
>Now she’s annoyed with me making me feel like I’m being selfish and unreasonable for not wanting to help with the cost. But isn't she being selfish by exposing you to what she encounters in her line of work? You didn't ask for that.
If I were you, I would *require* the entire place be done because you don't mess with bed bugs. You just don't. But she needs to pay for it because she is the cause of the problem. She brought them in, she needs to take them out. Might be time for a new roommate too. :
scarleet4455 - :- NTA The infestation is confirmed to be in her car and her bedroom, not in your room or common areas. It’s unfair to expect you to pay half the $1000 for a problem you didn’t cause.
If professionals truly thought the whole house needed treatment, they’d have found evidence in other rooms, which they didn’t. It sounds like she’s panicking and it’s reasonable for you to refuse to split the cost. This is her responsibility to handle.
CandylandCanada - :- NTA *Of course* the extermination company would recommend doing the whole house. They can "insist" on whatever they want. Roomie needs to pay on her own for the spaces that are infected.
Trilobyte141 - :- NTA, but just FYI, the company is *not* scamming you. Bedbugs can travel far and fast, and if even one egg-laying female escapes the treatment, you'll have a whole infestation to treat again. A single room is never enough.
This is a whole-building operation. But yeah, your roommate should be solely responsible for the cost. She's in a career/volunteer position (not sure which) that comes with risks. It's up to her to mitigate those risks.
That may mean having separate clothes for work and keeping them in a plastic bag and changing there, or regularly treating her car preventatively, or other measures, but it's still on her to handle this.
Music_withRocks_In - :- NTA. If I were you I would nope right out of that living arrangement, bedbugs are a nightmare, and might not go away just because they are treated.
The original poster (OP) feels strongly that they should not bear any cost for the bed bug extermination because the infestation originated from the roommate's professional activities and was initially confined to the roommate's personal space.
The central conflict arises from the disagreement over shared responsibility when an external problem affects a shared living environment, complicated by the roommate's insistence on treating the entire house based on professional advice that the OP doubts.
Given that the infestation was traced to one person's area, is it fair to demand the non-offending roommate contribute equally to the cost of treating the entire shared residence, or does the nature of shared tenancy mandate splitting the expense for collective peace of mind and safety?