AITAH for causing a scene at dinner after finding out my rapist was sent after me on purpose?
Haunted by a past shrouded in betrayal and violence, she carries the weight of scars that no one saw, and pain that was dismissed.
Betrayed not only by her abuser but by those who should have protected her, her story is one of survival against a system that silenced her and a friend who shattered her trust in the most devastating way.
Now, years later, the cruel truth unfolds—her rape was not a random act but a planned violation, yet when she speaks out, she is met with disbelief and cruelty, labeled “unhinged” and “dramatic.” In the face of injustice and isolation, she fights to reclaim her voice and confront the shadows that refuse to let her heal.
I (26F) recently found out that my rape was planned and now I’m being called “unhinged” and “dramatic” for how I reacted. I need to know if I crossed the line. Tyler - my abusive ex, Chris - Tyler’s best friend, Sarah - Chris current girlfriend, Jess - my college bestie.
My first year of college (19), my abuser, Tyler tried to kill me. I reported it to the school and basically the school covered it up and made me stay quiet about it.
Fast forward a few months after that, Chris reaches out to me to “apologize for his best friends actions” (ie: him abusing me and trying to kill me) we become pretty close friends for a few months. Fast forward a few months later, Chris rapes me.
At the time I figured it was just another random act of violence. I eventually drop out of college and I move on with my life. Fast forward to this past Thursday.
I am in town (where I went to college) to visit my niece and nephew and my old college bestie Jess invites me to a dinner with some of our old college friends. I show up to the dinner and at the table IS CHRIS.
I’m already sick to my stomach at the fact that Jess wouldn’t warn me that my RAPIST would be at the dinner. I’m not a very confrontational person so I said nothing. Anyways, the dinner is going okay, until Sarah opens her mouth.
Sarah decides to ask me “if I ever got over Chris”. I look at her dumbfounded, because what the hell do you mean “did I get over” Chris…MY RAPIST? I ask her why she would ever ask me something like that and proceed to tell her she’s disgusting for even asking me that.
I decide I want to leave. As I’m about to leave I tell Jess in front of everyone that I think she should have said something to defend me or at least let Sarah know what she asked wasn’t okay.
Sarah says something along the line of “Jess isn’t your friend if she never told you the truth” That makes me stop dead in my tracks so I ask Jess what she’s talking about and she literally says nothing.
Sarah then starts scrolling through her phone saying she’s got to show me something. she turns her phone around and I look at a screenshots of texts.
Before I could really read them Sarah snatches her phone away and laughs and then says “you think your little rape was a coincidence”. I turn to Jess and again ask her what Sarah is talking about she still says nothing but she looks like she’s gonna cry.
Finally I start raising my voice asking someone to explain.
Sarah then says “Chris and Tyler planned your rape as a get back for trying to ruin Tyler’s life (he got kicked out eventually for trying to kill me; long story too) and Jess knew the entire time.”
I couldn’t even think straight. I straight blacked out and I lost it.
I remember flipping the table over, I remember screaming at Sarah and Chis and Jess. Eventually I was asked to leave by the restaurant staff so I did.
I called Jess later because I wanted answers and she informed me that Tyler and Chris had been talking for months and Tyler was feeding Chris information on how to get closer to me and told me that their original plan was to get me to voluntarily sleep with him so they could film it and that was going to be how they got me back instead because I wasn’t falling for Chris they decided the punishment would be to rape me and she knew the entire time.
Now everyone is texting me tell me I overreacted. That it was years ago. AND everyone is mad at me because Sarah is pregnant (with Chris baby) and I had “no right to cause a pregnant woman so much stress”
Am I truly the asshole? Did I really overreact?
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.
SpecialistDinner3677 - :- Call the police
RJack151 - :- TIme to gather all the evidence you can, and then go after Tyler and Chris for their conspiracy.
TemperatureNo3835 - :- NTA I wish OP had flipped the literal table on Sarah and really stressed her out. Jess deserves it too obviously but it's the audacity to gloat about her man doing something so horrendous is what has me heated. Also drunk but pregnant? Sounds like a gem.
SpecificBathroom1687 - :- NTA. These are bad people - every single one of them. I'd be burning their worlds down at this point, figuring out where they all work, calling their bosses and letting them know who they hired. Try pressing charges if you are able to.
See if you can get CPS involved in Chris and Sarah's family (because you know, dad's a sexual predator and mom is a rape apologist). And Jess? She was never your friend. Wreck her too.
Basic-Satisfaction35 - :- If this is real (which I don’t think it is) who in their right mind would side with Sarah and Chris, like he literately raped you? Something like that does not just go away over time. Why isn’t Chris in prison also? If you didn’t report him get evidence off Jess and report him to the police?
priincessflower - :- NTA. Your reaction is understandable given the horrific revelation. Those minimizing your trauma are wrong.
th4lia - :- I just can’t with this one
The original poster (OP) experienced a severe trauma, learning that a rape she suffered was premeditated by her former abuser and his friend, with her college friend allegedly knowing about the conspiracy.
Her reaction, though emotionally devastating and resulting in a public outburst, stemmed directly from this shocking revelation about the planned nature of the violence and the betrayal of trust by her supposed friend.
Given the profound betrayal and the confirmation of a planned violent attack, was the OP's intense, public reaction an understandable consequence of suppressed trauma being violently re-triggered, or did her actions, regardless of the cause, cross a line regarding acceptable behavior in a social setting, especially concerning the pregnant woman present?