AITA for threatening to sue my cousin's in front of people who were strangers to me?
In the quiet stillness of a grandmother’s home, a sudden crack shattered the calm—a reckless reverse into a car, a moment captured but a reckoning just beginning.
What should have been a simple apology spiraled into a tense standoff, where accountability was demanded and evasion met with firm resolve.
Caught between fear and responsibility, the young woman faced a choice laid bare by cold evidence and unwavering determination.
It was more than just a car repair; it was a test of integrity, trust, and the courage to face consequences head-on before time ran out.
I (29F) was at my grandmother's house last Friday when a friend (27F) of my cousin (27M) reversed into my car. I caught part of it on my phone camera, which showed her pulling away after hitting my car.
I took photos of the damage, then messaged the cousin’s friend to discuss how she was going to pay for the repair. she decided to add me to a group WhatsApp call instead of replying privately.
in the group call, I called her out using her name, the color/make/model of her car, and her license plate. I mentioned I had video proof. she asked what I expected from her, and I gave her two options: meet up the next day (Saturday) and exchange insurance or pay $2,500 in cash.
she expressed concern over using insurance due to rate hikes and said she didn’t have the cash. I then offered to let her put a credit card on file at the shop, and I said I would have them cap the charges on her card at $2,500. She didn’t like that either.
my final offer was to tell her she had till Thursday (today) at 6pm to notify me of what she wanted to do. if I hadn’t heard from her by that point, I would file a police report and pursue a small claims suit.
she tried to counter by saying the damage was from a previous incident (the work order where I had gotten the $2,500 number from), but I reminded her I had proof from the shop that was completed 3 years and timestamped photos from earlier in the day (last Friday) of both cars undamaged.
my cousin is upset about how I handled the situation, saying I embarrassed his friend by confronting her in front of her friends (strangers to me) and that I should have offered a payment plan.
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REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.:
This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.
CherryApple_Amazing - :- NTA. You give her more chances than I would have to fix her mistake. Tell your cousin you did try to do this privately, but she decided she wanted to make it public. She was probably hoping someone would come to her defense or even offer to help her pay for it.
No_Society_6848 - :- I also posted in the r/CharlotteDobreYouTube channel where I had more characters to explain my story if you want more context
LowBalance4404 - :- NTA and I hope you are going to the police right now. You can also call your insurance company, submit a claim, and file. Especially because you have proof.
SomeoneYouDontKnow70 - :- NTA. You didn't embarrass the friend in public. She did that to herself by replying to your private message in a public group. In fact, every embarrassing thing about this was initiated by the friend: 1.
She could have immediately pulled you aside to let you know that she hit your car instead of waiting for you to message her. 2. She could have handled the situation private instead of taking it to a group chat 3.
She could have just handed over the insurance information. After all, the whole point of insurance is to ensure that you can pay for damages like these when accidents happen. Instead she chose to withhold it. 4.
She could have acknowledged the damage she caused to your car. Instead she tried to gaslight you into believing that the damage was from a three year old incident that had been resolved long ago. It's not on you to offer a payment plan.
She did the damage, and she needs to come up with a way to make it right. The payment plan is that she hands over her insurance information, just like the law requires.
Select-Anxiety-1557 - :- NTA You started with a private conversation and instead she added you to a group chat. If she didn't want to be called out in public, she shouldn't have taken the conversation into the public.
Starlighttikigirl - :- Call the cops and your insurance and be done with it. The person won't ever pay and is trying everything they can to get out of it.
adventuresofViolet - :- NTA, but you'll get quicker results filling a claim with your insurance carrier.
You're waisting time right now trying to get blood from a stone, they're not going to pay you anything if they're already giving you the run around, I know as insurance is my profession.
File your claim, submit your video and your insurance company will seek subrogation of your deductible from their insurance carrier and you'll be done with it.
The original poster (OP) felt justified in securing compensation for the damage caused to her car, firmly presenting evidence and clear financial demands to the friend of her cousin.
However, the cousin criticized the OP's method, stating that confronting the driver publicly in a group setting caused unnecessary embarrassment and that offering a payment plan should have been prioritized over strict deadlines.
Was the OP justified in using a direct, evidence-backed approach with firm deadlines to resolve the financial dispute, or should she have prioritized maintaining social harmony by handling the matter privately and offering more flexible repayment terms, as suggested by the cousin?