AITA for refusing to pay the medical bills for my roommate's son after he had an allergic reaction eating my cookies?
In a quiet home where trust was the foundation, a moment of carelessness shattered the fragile peace.
Sam, a bright-eyed four-year-old with a dangerous allergy to strawberries, found himself in the grip of a terrifying reaction—one that could have been avoided with just a little more vigilance.
The sweetness of the strawberry shortcake cookies turned into a nightmare that no one was prepared for. As the frantic cries pierced the morning calm, a simple act of babysitting became a race against time.
The weight of responsibility pressed heavily on the shoulders of a roommate who never imagined that a brief absence could lead to such a heart-stopping emergency.
This story is a raw reminder of how quickly love and care must be paired with caution, especially when the stakes are a child's life.
My roommate's son, Sam (4M) is allergic to strawberries. He gets an allergic reaction only if he eats them. I recently made a batch of strawberry shortcake cookies. Some of them were in a jar in the top shelf.
She mostly works remotely but sometimes she will have to go to the office for a few hours (1-2 max). As I always work from home and the kid is really sweet, I don't mind babysitting. One day last week, I woke up to Sam screaming/crying bloody murder.
When I ran to the kitchen, it was very obvious that he was experiencing an allergic reaction. It didn't seem severe but his face was red and he had the cookies in his hand. I freaked out and called 911. They took the kid to the hospital.
Turns out, she banged on my door and yelled that she had to go to the office urgently and asked me to take care of Sam for an hour. He was already fed and all I had to do was look after him. I guess I was deep asleep and did not hear her.
Sam was playing in the living room, saw the cookies and went for it. My roommate is now mad at me because 1. I was supposed to look after him. 2. I called 912 instead of just using the EpiPen which is kept in the living room.
In the past, the banging-on-the-door thing has worked (a couple of times) but this time I genuinely didn't hear her. She has also explained about the EpiPen and how it works, but I freaked out and my forgot about that. She now expects me to pay for the medical bill.
I have obviously refused to. She is going to go broke and she is blaming me. Yeah yeah. The real asshole is the American Healthcare system. Still, who is right here? Aita?
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
No spam, unsubscribe anytime. Privacy Policy
THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.
Poopsie66 - :- NTA. She didn't get a confirmation from you, she shouldn't have left. And even if you had used the EpiPen, you'd still need to have him checked out by a doctor. This is real life, not a movie.
Ardeeke - :- NTA. You can't just bang on the door and shout to someone that they're in charge of a kid--you need to make sure they're awake, upright, and agree to it. It sucks for her, but she's a ~~little bit of an~~ big arse for not handing the kid off properly.
The rest of it wouldn't have happened if she had, right? Also an epi-pen buys time for proper medical treatment. You still need to get checked out/treated/etc after using the epi pen!
astrologyprodigy - :- NTA. You were sound asleep! She knocked on your door, shouted at you to watch her child and left? No agreement? No actual conversation about leaving the child in your care?
Suppose you left out during the night to visit a *special friend* the mom didn’t even have confirmation that you were HOME! I don’t think that you are responsible for the medical bills. You clearly weren’t even aware that you were “supposed” to be watching him at the time
doublestitch - :- By chance you happen to be getting this response from a Redditor with life threatening fruit allergies. Your roommate has a son with a disability. (Yes, life threatening allergies are an ADA covered disability).
She's responsible for keeping him in responsible hands and no, banging on a sleeping adult's door and leaving the premises without receiving an answer is not adequate. Office emergencies are difficult matters, it's true.
Usually it's possible to navigate that with adequate preparation: work out contingency plans with the supervisor, with HR, and with a sitter. Work out a procedure for securing allergens. Train the adults in anaphylaxis response protocol.
Given how this child is only four, this is probably the first time he's raided food from a top shelf.
Maybe that could have been anticipated from his growth and curiosity/climbing abilities, in which case the bulk of the responsibility rests with his mother for predicting that and making new arrangements such as child safe locks on the cabinet doors.
You did forget to use the epinephrine injector--which is a major omission that might have resulted in his death (worst case scenario) or significant medical complications.
Under normal circumstances that would put this in ESH territory, but this emergency woke you up from a sound sleep while you had no idea you were alone in the residence with this child. You got blindsided.
*And you getting blindsided was the result of his mother's bad decisions*. NTA. It's heartbreaking but this wasn't your fault. Suggest putting this sequence of events in writing asap and sending it to the roommate via email.
It'd also be good to either have a household meeting and work out a better safety plan or else start looking for a new apartment.
*edit* Although it's outstanding if someone else's four-year-old knows to ask about gluten, not every child that age can be held to that high standard.
A few four-year-olds can also swim in the pool and read books but I wouldn't blame the parents of those who don't. A four-year-old might not even remember what their allergen tastes like if they were diagnosed during infancy.
avatarfan007 - :- NTA, the real issue is that she left her kid with you without your permission. That can be counted as neglect for CPS
Cranberryblue112 - :- What would she have done if you had left the apartment early for whatever reason? She didn't even care enough to check you were physically in the building before she left her child alone with you. You are not his parent.
It is not your responsibility to look after him unless you have agreed to. NTA. Your roommate should pay the medical bill and just be thankful that her negligence didn't cause any more damage.
(Though, maybe keep your strawberry goods in your room next time, just in case she pulls a stunt like this again)
VROF - :- Th real assholes are the people that keep voting against Medicare for all because no one should be worrying about this kind of thing in an emergency. What a tragedy the US is
The original poster (OP) is caught between their roommate's expectation that they should have managed the childcare situation and administered the EpiPen, and the OP's own reaction of panic and subsequent refusal to cover the resulting medical bills.
The central conflict revolves around shared responsibility for a child's safety, the failure of established communication methods, and the financial consequences of an emergency.
Was the OP primarily at fault for not hearing the roommate's request and failing to use the known EpiPen during a panic, or is the roommate responsible for relying solely on a deep sleeper for emergency childcare and for the ensuing financial demand? Where should the responsibility lie when a severe allergy reaction occurs under shared custody?