AITA for showing up to a job interview with purple hair that I've had since I was 20?
For years, she wore her vibrant purple hair like a badge of authenticity, a bold statement of self in a world that often demands conformity.
At 34, with a decade of professional experience behind her, she believed she had found places where she could simply be herself—until a single interview shattered that illusion, revealing a cold, unspoken judgment that cut deeper than any words.
In that sterile room, her colorful identity became a barrier rather than a bridge, met with disdainful stares that spoke volumes about belonging and rejection.
It was a stark reminder that fitting in isn’t always about skills or passion, but sometimes about the colors we dare to paint ourselves with—and the harsh limits society still imposes on true individuality.
I'm 34 years old and have had some flavor of purple hair since I was 20. The closest approximate color I can give to you is if you search "black cherry hair" and imagine it a little more purple. At 34, I'm not exactly new to the job force.
One of my biggest stipulations for a job is that I fit in as I am, and that I don't work for a company that's so uppity my hair would be an issue. I've never had a problem until now. I'm like 40% satisfied with my current job, and have been seeking something new.
I've been on a few interviews to test the waters, and it's been pretty great so far. Until a week ago, when I ended up going to an interview at a company that's got a much different atmosphere than I expected from the phone interview and all that.
The woman doing the interview kept staring at my hair with a look of disgust. A few others did the same. It was very obvious I was not an, ahem, culture fit. No biggie, you're not always going to be, you know? So I just shrugged it off and finished the interview.
A day later, they called to let me know I hadn't gotten the job. I was polite and cordial on the phone. But the woman was very aggressive and downright bitchy to me, and said "And for the record, just a piece of advice for you in the future?
Showing up to a professional interview with clownish hair is not going to get you very far."
I said, "I think my 15 years in the X industry with an exemplary track record says otherwise.
But thank you for letting me know that I was correct in understanding the company is not a good culture fit for me."
She snorted in that haughty-bitch way, and said, "Well, it obviously doesn't say that much, otherwise you wouldn't be interviewing for a job."
I said "Ok" and moved on with my life -- only to get a pretty nasty email from the company telling me that due to my inappropriate comments to the interviewer on the phone that day, they would ask me to please refrain from applying for a position with the company in the future.
I think this is just a ridiculous case of someone being super tight, but AITA for having purple hair?
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
What started as a simple post quickly turned into a wildfire of opinions, with users chiming in from all sides.
dream_bean_94 - :- NTA Please write a review on Glassdoor to warn future applicants, they deserve to know what they’re getting themselves into.
NUTmeSHELL - :- NTA. She was unnecessarily aggressive. If your hair is important to you, you take the risk of others deciding not to hire you because of it, and that’s your choice. But her demeanor was unnecessarily aggressive and rude.
WiseSyrup - :- NTA how unprofessional of them. "please refrain from applying in the future" yeah like anyone wants to work at your uptight ass workplace with a b*** of a coworker. you're never TA for how you want to wear your hair.
some jobs you may be a fit for, and some not, and you seem to know this and responded cordially, but i really can't believe that interviewer had the nerve to act that way. why is she so bothered? mommy never let her express herself?
fluffybutt86 - :- NTA. Also seems like a childish reaction from the interviewer.
OP: *purple hair* Interviewer: *doesn’t like it* OP: *still purple hair* Interviewer: No job for you OP: *still purple* Interviewer: I hate purple OP: *purples on* Interviewer: Don’t try to work here! OP: *purples off into the distance* Interviewer: *surprised pickachu*
c684 - :- NTA, you'd never be happy in that job since you would die your hair sooner or later and they'd probably fire you for it. I think you dodged a bullet there and showing up with 'clownish' hair seems to be a good way to weed these places out. You be you and fuck the people that can't deal with that.
BroadElderberry - :- NTA. This person was downright bitchy, and I find it *hilarious* that they say you're the one making inappropriate comments.
So long as you recognize that your hair *will* cost you some opportunities in your life, and you decide you're 100% okay with that, then keep your hair as is.
tidderor - :- I'm an attorney, and work for a law department that is pretty strict about appearance and requires business formal/courtroom attire. One of my coworkers has purple hair and it's not a problem at all.
That said, there are some law firms that I imagine might take issue with whether she has the right "image" if she were to apply there. But their loss is our gain.
Hopefully she wouldn't sweat it and would prefer to be at a place that was more welcoming. The interviewer was needlessly rude and her attitude reflects very poorly on the company.
It's their prerogative if they want to reject an otherwise well qualified candidate because they strictly insist on conservative and traditional hairstyles, but there's no reason to be so aggressive and insulting about it.
The original poster is facing a conflict where their long-held personal expression, specifically their distinct hair color, clashes directly with the perceived strict professional standards of a potential employer.
Despite having significant professional experience, the OP is emotionally positioned to defend their right to self-expression, leading to a sharp confrontation when the interviewer made unsolicited, critical remarks about their appearance.
Is the OP justified in prioritizing personal aesthetic expression over conforming to conservative professional norms during job interviews, or should individuals adjust their presentation to meet the explicit or implied expectations of a prospective workplace, even if those expectations feel arbitrary?