AITA for putting my neighbors garbage on her porch because she keeps using my garbage cans?
In a quiet townhome complex governed by a strict HOA, a new neighbor named Elaine quietly disrupted the fragile balance of community respect.
What began as a small favor, allowing her to temporarily use a trash bin, quickly spiraled into a source of tension and frustration as Elaine’s disregard for boundaries filled the can beyond capacity, threatening fines and neighborhood harmony.
Beneath the surface of daily routines and shared spaces, this seemingly trivial conflict reveals a deeper struggle for respect and responsibility.
It’s a powerful reminder that even the smallest acts can ripple outward, challenging trust and testing the patience of those who value order and fairness in their tightly knit community.
I live in a townhome complex with a pretty strict HOA. I got a new neighbor around six weeks ago. I will call her Elaine. Elaine moved in around six weeks ago, and since she moved in I have noticed her putting her trash in my trash can.
Elaines trash makes my trash so full that the bin can not close. She sometimes puts her garbage bags next to my bin also. The city will pick this up, but the HOA does not like to see trash bags or open trash cans in front of the house. They will fine you.
Cost for trash pickup in my city is around $300 a year (25/mo) and it costs around $45 dollars to get a bin if you don’t already have one. The first time I saw her doing this, I confronted her. She said that she was waiting for her bin, and she didn’t want her trash to pile up.
I said, fine you can put your trash here for now but make sure that the can closes. If not you need to hold it. A month passes by and Elaine is still using my trash can.
I asked her what was going on and she claimed that she could not afford to get a bin right now, and apologized. At this point I have received two notices about my trash cans overflowing. I told her she could no longer put trash in my can. Last week, I was off from work.
I saw Elaine, again, putting an enormous amount of trash into my trash cans. When she left, I took her trash out of my cans and placed the bags into her porch. It turns out that Elaine went out of town. So the trash sat for about a week in front of her door. It was disgusting.
I wasn’t home when she returned, but my wife was. My wife says that she came to our house throwing a fit about the garbage. She said she had several notices from HOA and had been fined, and asked why we put disgusting trash in front of her door.
She got into a very heated argument with my wife. My wife called me up and told me about what happened. She thinks I’m an asshole for the way I handled this situation because now we are not on friendly terms with our neighbor.
I just don’t think being on “friendly terms” means that we should be taken advantage of. She needs to pay for her trash to he collected like everyone else. Was this an asshole move?
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THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.
Nikki3to - :- NTA Elaine was asked not to continue to over fill your trash, Elaine is an adult and should understand basic courtesy towards her neighbors. why is it ok for you to receive notices due to her actions but once she receives a notices for her own...
it's all of a sudden a problem? Maybe the fine will inspire her to 'afford' those trash cans after all
[deleted] - :- NTA. You should make a complaint to the HOA as well, just so they're aware of the situation. It may help prevent you from being fined.
I rented a condo once and had to go to the condo board with the owner of the unit because my neighbor was leaving cigarette butts all over our shared stoop. I don't smoke but the owner of the property got fined for the litter.
Laquila - :- NTA. You never were on "friendly terms" with your neighbor. Your neighbor lied to you, repeatedly disrespected you and caused you to receive notices from the HOA.
She had no right to make it your problem that she "couldn't afford" waste management costs. Your wife is understandably upset because she copped the abuse from the jerk neighbor, not you.
But you had to do something because clearly, the neighbor had no intention of respecting your request. She needed a lesson. She got one, which she deserved. I'd install some sort of security camera though, in case she tries for revenge.
Stellanboll - :- NTA - Can you put a lock on your bin? Also I suggest you inform your HOA about this before she gives them her version of the story.
solo-avocado - :- NTA. I broke a lease once because my neighbors kept filling my trash with theirs, even though they had their own cans. It's really simple courtesy.
grimeybrat4004 - :- NTA. You were literally getting write ups and possible fines for HER GARBAGE. She knew what she was getting into before moving in, it's her own *personal* problem that she can't afford it. She can figure it out on her own.
I'd invest in a cheap security camera that's aimed at your trash. If she wants to be Petty then be Petty. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Let the HOA know that she's not in compliance.
Since you pay for your trash can, it's private property, it is illegal for her to use it to begin with. It's called fraud. Also, if the can in on your property, then she's also trespassing.
MonicaLewinsky530 - :- NTA. I don’t know how many times she expected you to be fined for her garbage. The only thing different I would do would be to report her to HOA in the beginning, but idk if that would make a difference.
The original poster (OP) felt strongly that their neighbor, Elaine, was taking unfair advantage of their goodwill regarding shared waste disposal, leading to potential HOA fines for the OP.
The conflict escalated from polite requests to firm boundaries, culminating in the OP physically returning the neighbor's accumulated trash to her doorstep after repeated boundary violations.
Given the escalating conflict and the financial risk posed by HOA fines, was the OP's final action of returning the trash bags a justifiable act of self-protection against being taken advantage of, or was it an unnecessarily aggressive escalation that destroyed any chance of a civil neighborly relationship?