AITA for exposing a my cousin's boyfriend as a fake navy SEAL?
Beneath the fierce loyalty of a warrior lies a burning truth that refuses to be silenced.
A man forged in the crucible of Special Warfare Combatant-Craft Crewmen knows the weight of honor and authenticity, and when whispers of deceit seep into his family, the betrayal cuts deeper than any battle wound.
His instincts scream that the man claiming the SEAL title is nothing more than a shadow, a counterfeit hiding behind a stolen legacy.
Isolated by disbelief and stubborn denial from those closest to him, he stands alone against a tide of ignorance, determined to unmask the impostor.
This isn't just about exposing a lie—it's a fight to protect the sacred honor of a brotherhood where every truth is earned in blood, sweat, and unyielding courage.
I served in SWCC, Special warfare combatant-craft crewmen. We operate small patrol boats, and we work with SEALs, usually the people getting the SEALs in and out of places.
Our training is quite similar to theirs, and when I heard that my cousin was getting married to a SEAL and when I heard about him, I knew he was a phony. The stories that were relayed back to me, and the shit I've seen from his post was just bullshit.
I also heard that my nephew did more pull ups than him, 5, so I know that's horseshit. There's no Navy SEAL who can only do 5 pull ups. Bare minimum is like 10 or 15 to even get into basic training.
I never got to meet this guy, and I think he was actually avoiding me because whenever I showed up he always left.
I told everyone in the family my concerns, most just ignored me saying i misinterpreted what happened, I'm not a SEAL so i wouldn't know, these ignoramuses were just so stubborn.
Well I knew the only way to expose this fucker is to get outside help so I contacted Don Shipley, who is a former navy SEAL and he has a bunch of social media accounts and websites where he posts content of him exposing hundreds if not thousands of fake navy SEALs either by approaching them or calling them and blasting them online.
Anyone who suspects someone of being a fake SEAL can submit their info to Don Shipley, he will contact you back with proof of him being or not being a SEAL as he as a record to a database of every navy SEAL.
Shipley not only sends proof of him not being a SEAL, he also calls my cousin and he asks my cousin about his service.
He calls him out on everything about how none of his service making sense, the main one being he said he was in seal class 111 which would've been like 40 years ago or something. I then sent this to everyone who was attending the wedding in a mass email chain.
I was in one that had like 400 email addresses for the upcoming wedding attendees, as well as everyone on his facebook and ig friend's list.
I have gotten so much hate from him and his family for this and my cousin is devastated knowing this man is a fraud and a liar, so is everyone else who grew to like him. Everyone seems to hate me, i don't see why i did them all a favor
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REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.:
The community had thoughts — lots of them. From tough love to thoughtful advice, the comment section didn’t disappoint.
tobsolonely - :- ESH: Not an AH - for exposing him but kind of AH for doing it in such a dramatic manner... Maybe you could've shared the proofs with the bride and her family but not to all of the 400 guests...
As it's said, 'one shouldn't wash their dirty linen in public' The matter could've been solved in a more peaceful and less insulting manner if was done privately...
Edit: To everyone who is saying that the guy deserved being exposed in front of 400 people, ask this to yourself that did op's cousin deserve being humiliated by her cousin in front of 400 people?
Yes she didn't listen to him but she obviously loved the fake SEAL and he had manipulated her into marrying him. But such a harsh punishment when she's already going through a heartbreak? Seems heartless....
Also, regarding him going and conning other people? They could've exposed him publically AFTER his cousin knew about it. Infact she could've been the one exposing him... It's fine to expose the fake SEAL but not caring for his cousin makes him an AH too
No_Squirrel2920 - :- ESH You should have told your cousin once you had the proof and let it work itself out. Exposing him to 400 people and hunting out all his social media contacts to expose him is extremely petty.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think you were wrong for getting the info and exposing him, but I don't think you were the person that should have publicly humiliated him (and, indirectly, your cousin since they were going to marry).
ForgottenTroll - :- ESH. Your ousin's boyfriend should not be lying about military service. But the way you did this -- blasting it across a wedding listserv -- was dramatic and vindictive.
The way to do it was to approach your cousin privately, give her the information, and then let her decide what to do with it.
SynthVix - :- ESH. I don’t like the military but even I can say that stolen valor is not okay, in any form. It’s great that you called him out for it.
*But,* The tone in this post and the fact that you made this a public affair rather than keeping it private makes you an A-H as well. Spamming *400* people with emails and effectively doxxing someone is also a terrible thing to do.
Luna-Strange - :- ESH. Borderline n t a Fake vets deserve it. Massive a hole for that. You should have contacted your cousin privately about it but then again, those people bring it on themselves. Frauds get exposed. Hopefully your cousin finds someone real.
Could not even respect his partner enough to tell the truth. Shame. Better she found out now when she can still ditch hassle free.
InTheory_ - :- Mass email is an AH move and makes you look petty. Using a wedding as a springboard for maximum humiliation ... AH move, and congratulations on ruining the bride's day, who presumably had nothing to do with any of this ...
but "acceptable losses" amiright? There are ways of handling this, and you chose the wrong way. YTA. It's not even close
friendlily - :- I can understand your frustrations, and I think it would have been fine to tell your cousin directly and show her proof, so she has all the facts before marrying. However, YTA for blowing up 400 people's emails with this.
These types of guys dig their own graves eventually anyway and you just took yourself down with him.
The original poster (OP) acted based on a strong conviction that their cousin's fiancé was falsely claiming to be a Navy SEAL, motivated by their own military background and personal observations suggesting deception.
While the OP believes they exposed a fraud and did a favor for the family, this action led to intense backlash, resulting in the cousin's devastation and widespread family disapproval directed at the OP.
When an individual perceives a significant deception within the family structure, is exposing that deception via public denouncement the most appropriate course of action, or does the preservation of immediate family relationships and the cousin's emotional well-being take precedence over revealing the truth?