AITA for punishing my son by taking away his phone after he deleted my daughter's Minecraft world?
In the quiet of a family home, a young girl’s world shattered in an instant, her sanctuary of creativity erased with a cruel swipe.
Lizzie, a vibrant soul who poured her heart into every pixel of her Minecraft masterpieces, faced a devastation no child should endure.
The colorful structures she lovingly built were more than just digital blocks—they were her dreams, her expressions, her refuge. Amid sibling tension and unspoken frustrations, a simple request to join a game sparked a silent storm.
Zach’s anger and Lizzie’s refusal set the stage for the heartbreaking moment when her cherished world disappeared, leaving her sobbing and her parents stunned.
In that fragile morning light, the family confronted the deep emotional weight of loss, even in the smallest corners of everyday life.
I (41f) am married to my husband (42m) and we have two kids: our son (11m) who we will call Zach, and daughter (9f) who we will call Lizzie (not their real names for privacy reasons).
Lizzie LOVES the video game Minecraft, and has played it nearly every day since we bought it for her on Xbox for her 8th birthday.
She is a super artsy kid and loves to create extravagant buildings and structures in Minecraft, and she has shown me her amazing creations many times. Two days ago, she was playing downstairs and Zach asked if he could play with her.
Lizzie didn’t let him play even though we have two Xbox controllers, and Zach was very angry for not letting her play. I don’t know why Lizzie didn’t let him play, I was in the kitchen upstairs.
Yesterday, when my husband and I were still sleeping, Lizzie started screaming and crying downstairs. She always wakes up early to play.
Her world with all of her creations is gone, and she told us between sobs that she can’t get it back, and she thinks that Zach deleted it last night.
When Zach woke up, I asked him if he deleted Lizzie’s world, and he started laughing and said that she should have let him play with her. I was livid.
Lizzie loves that game so much and her creations were beautiful, and now they’re gone forever, not to mention that she is devastated that the world she has spent over a year on is gone forever.
I took my son’s brand new phone away (we had just bought it for him this month for his birthday). My son is acting like this is the end of the world. He says he needs his phone because everybody else at school has one, and he needs to fit in.
He is starting middle school this week and claims he doesn’t want to become a social outcast. I told him he can have his phone back in a month, and not having a phone won’t make him an outcast, but he refuses and wants it now.
My husband think his that taking away his phone is going too far, and that Lizzie’s game being gone “isn’t that big of a deal,” but by that logic, isn’t Zach’s phone being gone not that big of a deal either?
I don’t know what to do, it’s been over 24 hours and Zach won’t talk to me, and Lizzie is still moody. So Reddit, can I get some advice. AITA?
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
The thread exploded with reactions. Whether agreeing or disagreeing, everyone had something to say — and they said it loud.
Reddit_Gunboat - :- NTA and HOLD YOUR GROUND!!! I am parent who is skeptical of video games but Minecraft is different. What your son did is the equivalent of destroying a carefully created painting made over several months. And he laughs about it? Horrible.
TaratronHex - :- NTA. You should keep his phone as long as it takes your daughter to rebuild her world. Fair is fair.
Aealias - :- NTA. That was so MEAN of him! He deliberately destroyed something that she loved and spent hundreds of hours on, in a fit of pique! How can your husband not think it’s a big deal? It’s about deliberate and extreme unkindness.
He was trying to hurt and punish her, and he succeeded. And then *rejoiced* in her pain. Taking away his phone wasn’t overkill, but it also wasn’t effective.
He was glad to have hurt her, and now he’s too busy sulking over his punishment to have done any reflection and realize that he did *wrong*.
You and husband need to get together and work out how you can address the question of character that’s come up, here.
Extension-Guess5911 - :- NTA - I'm 43 and if someone deleted my Minecraft world just to be a jerk I'd be LIVID. With the amount of effort she put into the world that is a BIG deal.
caffeinetriplet - :- NTA at all. I think a month might even be too little. Part of me feels like a year for a year has a nice ring to it...
divadream - :- I think we can simplify this as: "AITA for disciplining my son for extremely poor behavior?" How else is he supposed to learn if there aren't consequences for being cruel to his sister?
PantagruelsMonster - :- NTA, honestly I actually think taking the phone isn’t enough.
Imagine if your daughter spent an entire year making art out of clay and she had a bookcase full of all her projects, if your son had gone through and smashed every single one of them I feel like you’d have a stronger reaction.
Sure it’s a video game and not a physical object which is why most people are like “it’s just a silly game don’t worry about it” but I would go nuclear if someone did something like that to me. What a horrible thing to do.
The parent (OP) is caught between the severe emotional distress of their daughter over lost digital creations and the anger of their son whose new phone was confiscated as punishment for destroying those creations.
The conflict is amplified by the spouse minimizing the daughter's loss while simultaneously viewing the son's punishment as excessive.
Is the parent's decision to take away the son's new phone for one month a fair and proportionate consequence for destroying a year's worth of the sister's game progress, or was this consequence too harsh, especially given the son's stated need for social inclusion via the device?