AITA for telling my husband he has it easy?
She carried the weight of life growing inside her, a silent battle waged daily against relentless pain and overwhelming medical challenges.
Yet, in the quiet moments when she sought understanding, she found only frustration and impatience from the one she hoped would stand beside her. Their words clashed like storms, revealing a chasm shaped by pain and misunderstanding.
In the struggle to be seen and heard, she fought not only her body’s limits but the harsh judgments of love strained beyond its bounds.
I'm 7 months pregnant. It has been very difficult for me with all the medical stuff and chronic pain I'm constantly dealing with. My husband gets annoyed everytime I bring up how much pain I feel.
It's not like I complain constantly but it has slowed me down which made my husband think I'm looking for excuses to not get anything done. Yesterday morning I woke up with terrible back pain.
After I vented about it and expressed my discomfort He "snapped" at me and told me that I was acting like a spoilt princess and that I'm a mother, I should start acting like one.
I snapped back saying that he doesn't get to dictate how I should feel and deal with what I'm dealing with because he has no idea what it's like.
He was like "yeah but we're in this together, I put the baby in there remember?" I told him yes but he's not the one doing the work so he has it easy. He looked at me shocked and went quiet for a minute. He then said "Ah-Ha how typical!
Trying to use the "I'm the mom" card against me already?, how much "leverage" are you planning to get with that". Which hurt because he made me feel like I'm milking it. We argued about it then he left and refused to respond to my phonecalls all day.
In the evening he got distant and ignored me when I tried to speak to him and then said that telling him he has it easy was way out of line and an awful attempt to discredit his efforts and sacrifices but all he does is provide. AITA?
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HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.:
This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.
xxfallenangelxrd - :- Buddy had an orgasm and thinks it the equivalent of growing an entire tiny human. This is not how supportive partners act toward their pregnant wife. 100% NTA
unjessicabiel_evable - :- Oof not the guy you wanna raise a kid with. NTA. He's a giant AH. ETA: I just read your reasoning. What are his efforts so far? Having an orgasm? So he gets to feel good and coast for 9 months while your body goes through hell? That is not on.
g3nab33 - :- Honey. Throw away the whole husband. Like no joke, he is trying to convince you that you’re not allowed to feel crappy during pregnancy???? and then gets defensive and claims you’re somehow burdening him with your complaints?????? He should be rubbing your feet, handing you tea, and drawing you a hot bath. NTA in every way.
Heraonolympia123 - :- But, in comparison to you, he DOES HAVE IT EASY. I mean the swelling, the nausea, the aches, the peeing, the tiredness, the cravings, the bad sleep, the blood tests, the change of diet, the clothes not fitting, the drs appointments; the list goes on. He really can not compare ejaculation to pregnancy. NTA
razzledazzle626 - :- NTA. Massive red flags in him, and honestly it looks like you’re in for a shitty ride with him as a partner……please reconsider
NiteGrimwood - :- Get one of those machines that gives men what it feels like to have contractions and period cramps then tell him he is a spoiled princess for being in pain :3 NTA he is delusional to think you are not in alot of pain when pregnant, when I was I thought my ribs were going to break at one point because of how bad it hurt good luck with your husband thinking that his "part" in the baby making makes his words ok Also i think hes a walking red flag with the second paragraph
GemGem04 - :- NTA As a (former) partner to someone who behaved like this (a little more passive aggressively...) I can tell you, that's the line that will be used every 👏single👏time👏 you need help or support.
I'm far better off on my own with 2 kiddos than with 2kiddos and a grown up child.... Just something to think on....
The original poster (OP) is experiencing significant physical distress due to chronic pain during a difficult pregnancy, leading to friction with her husband who dismisses her suffering as over-complaining or laziness.
The central conflict is rooted in the husband's failure to validate the OP's physical reality, met by the OP's defensive counterattack questioning the nature and value of his contributions.
Is the OP justified in feeling that her husband minimizes her severe physical burden during pregnancy, or was her accusation that he "has it easy" a destructive escalation that unfairly invalidates his role and sacrifices?
The debate centers on whether emotional validation outweighs perceived practical contributions during shared major life events.