AITA For telling my neighbor to get F-ed when he told me to remove my doorbell camera?
In a neighborhood shadowed by fear and loss, a couple found their sanctuary violated by unseen thieves. Despite their long hours and careful precautions, their home was breached, leaving them vulnerable and anxious.
The sting of betrayal was deepened by the realization that the culprits were not strangers, but familiar faces from their own community.
Determined to reclaim their peace, they installed a doorbell camera—a silent guardian capturing truth and exposing deception.
But what began as a tool for security soon unveiled a haunting moment of revelation, one that shattered the fragile calm and forced everyone to confront a hidden reality lurking just beyond the door.
So lately, There have been a number of burglaries in the area I live in. My wife and I were among those who got burglarized and most of the stuff we lost were packages and electronics.
My wife and I both work long hours so we're not home most of the time and despite taking precautions, we still are concerned for the safety of our belongings as well as other things.
So I decided to get a doorbell camera which frankly has become a necessity and it's cheap to buy ($199) and easy to install.
And so far we were able to catch a number of thieves in act (to my surprise some of them I knew personally and were from the area) which helped lot in getting our stuff back.
Onto the issue: So my neighbor and I were discussing this with few other neighbors and I showed him a video that was taking by the camera to explain how we were able to identify the individuals who tried to steal stuff.
I was fastforward-ing the footage but He suddenly freaked out and pointed at his wife who was at the door to visit my wife. I was confused when he asked how long I been keeping this video/and if I made copies of it.
He then proceeded to tell me it did not feel right to see his wife being recorded by the doorbell cam and the fact that I didn't get rid of this part since it had nothing to do with catching the thieves made him unconfortable.
I apologized for any misunderstanding and promised that it had nothing to do with his wife we had few people stand at our door who were shown on our cam so I wasn't just his wife. He cut the conversation and left.
Then came back in the evening to ask for how long I will be keeping this camera. I asked why and he said he wasn't sure about his wife being recorded and asked me to remove it. I said no then he suggested I install one inside but I still said no.
He got all pissed and said that I was acting inappropriately and mean after he came to me with his concerns expecting me to understand that he doesnt want me having 'footages' of his wife.
I told him his wife can stop coming over if he was so worried but he went on about never telling his wife what to do or where to go. He insisted I remove the cam but I told him to get F-ed and never bring this up again.
He left and got others involved, they told me I should be more considerate of my neighbors feelings and understand where he's coming from but I stood my ground and refused to remove the camera.
My wife thinks I was being a jerk to our neighbor and his wife and have some respect for them but I don't think I was being disrespectful. Was I?
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
It didn’t take long before the comment section turned into a battleground of strong opinions and even stronger emotions.
Crazyhowthatworks304 - :- NTA. What the hell? Lol. Is he the one who was stealing your stuff? Or maybe his wife and that's why he was questioning how long you had it? You have the right to have your security camera. You stood your ground and that guy is acting incredibly crazy.
RoseTyler38 - :- That's a very strong reaction for someone who is 100% innocent. Think about it OP. My spicy senses are telling me he plans on stealing your stuff soon and is just upset that you can catch thieves.
He's making up bs excuses for you removing your camera. NTA. I would figure out a way to imply to him that his strong reaction seems sus to you.
Veridical_Perception - :- NTA As you pointed out, if he's concerned about his wife being on camera, she doesn't need to come over. Also, realistically, dude needs to realize that we are all filmed every day when out in public. Stores, streets, anywhere in public is now filmed with security cameras.
I find it ridiculous that people think that making unreasonable demands under the guise of "needing to understand where they're coming from" has become de rigueur, not to mention his actual concern is just flat out nutty, paranoid, and a bit creepy - what does he think you're doing with the footage?
warmgreyverylight - :- I think it's very telling that he said "I don't tell my wife what to do" as a response to your perfectly reasonable suggestion that his wife not come over if it's a concern. Not because he should be telling his wife what to do, obviously!
But his answer means that he's not leaving it up to his wife to decide what to do about it. He may not even have told her. To him, you having footage of his wife is a concern to *him*—for himself, not for his wife's sake. So, yeah.
He's a creep who thinks he owns his wife and all images of her. Obviously, you have a right to have this device on your own porch, and they can just not come over if they don't like it. NTA
ghozztz - :- NTA But what did he mean by:>he suggested I install one inside Does he want you to install a camera facing into your house to stop people from stealing outside your house?
donnyganger - :- NTA at all. The neighbor is. I think mentioning that she doesn’t have to come over anymore was a good call. If you’ve already caught people on the camera, it’s clearly worth it to have it up. Maybe this guy has something to hide.....
ooooh *the plot thickens*. I’m wondering how he explained it to other people and why they would be on his side. “GUYS HE WAS FILMING MY WIFE. NO, SHE WAS ON THEIR PORCH- BUT STILL! FRICKIN JERK RIGHT??”
SweetPotatoFamished - :- NTA I would have told his wife myself. “Hey neighbor! I hate to have to request this, but I need you to never come to my house again. Your husband is uncomfortable with you being recorded by our doorbell camera.
The thought of not having the camera makes me uncomfortable, and I believe this is the only compromise.”
The original poster (OP) acted out of a clear need for personal security following local burglaries, justifying the doorbell camera as a necessary tool for protection and recovery of property.
However, this necessary action has created a direct conflict with the neighbor, who feels that the recording of his wife, even incidentally, is an unacceptable invasion of privacy, leading to a breakdown in neighborly relations.
Given the OP's right to security and the neighbor's strong feelings about privacy regarding his spouse, is the neighbor justified in demanding the camera be removed or modified, or does the OP's right to self-protection supersede the neighbor's discomfort with being incidentally recorded for a legitimate security purpose?