AITA for refusing to feed my sister’s kids for free every day?

In the quiet chaos of a bustling household, a young sous-chef stepped into the role of caregiver, armed not just with patience but with the secret weapon of his culinary passion. Tasked with feeding three picky children, he faced a challenge that went beyond mere babysitting—it was a test of love, creativity, and the unspoken bond between food and family.

As the days unfolded, the kitchen became a battleground where vegetables were no longer foes but allies in disguise, blended seamlessly into meals that the children devoured without hesitation. In this unassuming act, he transformed mealtime into a moment of connection, proving that sometimes, nourishment feeds the soul as much as the body.

AITA for refusing to feed my sister's kids for free every day?

My older sister (37F) has 3 kids under 10. I (25M) don’t have kids yet but I’m a junior sous-chef and I cook a lot in my spare time. During some recent time off from work my sister asked if I could babysit her kids after school for three days.

I said yes. I watched the kids. She paid me for it and I thought that would be it. But then she asked me what the kids ate with me after the week had ended and then she wanted to know how I got her kids to eat a full meal.

Her kids are picky eaters.

They are typically the kids who will eat what they like off a plate (meat and potatoes, rice or noodles) and then leave the rest (veggies, sauces). According to my sister and BIL, even if you give more veggies than something else they won’t eat them and they’ll wait until their next meal and if you give all veggies or insist they eat the veggies before anything else, they’ll skip the meal.

I sorta knew that about them before I babysat so I blended veggies and other good stuff into their dinner the first day with me and the second day I served them but I did them but hid them in plain sight and on the last day I just served them in a way they don’t get them normally and because they knew they had them they ate them without an issue.

But they wouldn’t eat them for my sister or BIL after.

There was some back and forth between us and I shared some recipes but my sister said she couldn’t get them to eat the food. So she wanted me to make food for her kids every day. I asked if she was going to pay me for spending all that time and money and she told me I should do it as a way to help my nieces and nephews stay healthy.

I told her it’s a big ask. She told me I have the chance to really help and put my skills to good use for family.

I feel like it’s asking a lot because they expect me to make something every day for the kids.

But my sister feels like I’m being a bad brother and uncle. AITA?

Here’s how people reacted:

Discount_Mithral

NTA.

Has she seen how expensive a bag of groceries is lately?! And she wants you to increase your grocery spending by three-fold for free?! Not only that, but your time and effort to cook a nice meal should be compensated. I used to work service industry, I know a lot of cooks that ate like garbage at home because they spent all day cooking for other people, so the last thing they wanted to do when they got home was cook more food.

It’s close to the holidays, I might offer to either spend time with her teaching her how to cook or getting her some cooking lessons so she can mimic the meals you made for her kids. Clearly the kids like the veggies when cooked a specific way. (My mom used to just boil brussels sprouts; I HATED them as a kid. I finally had them roasted as an adult and thought – why couldn’t they have been like this? I would have eaten them more often!)

000ps-Crow_No

Also she and her husband can just learn to cook & model good eating behavior instead of focusing on the kids’ eating vegetables-the kids likely feel pressured & resistant whereas with you it was no pressure & a pleasant dining experience. My niblings love to eat at my house bc I don’t make the whole meal about getting them to eat, and try to involve them in the process where possible, and I eat the same food with them. Tell sister to check out “Kids Eat In Color” for tons of other info on picky eaters.

theoriginalzads

NTA. Not at all. They’re not your kids. Food costs money. Your time is worth money.

Sure, it’d be nice to occasionally shove some food in their mouth if it’s like a once every few months favour.

But regularly? No. At the very least she can pay the full costs of the food they eat. That’s not unreasonable to request or expect.

I fucking hate people who pull the “omg but family” card.

MorriganNiConn

That’s a HUGE ask. And she darned well should be compensating you for it all – from the time you spend shopping, for the time you spend preparing everything, for the time you spend cooking and for the cost of the food you feed them! That takes a lotta nerve to make an ask that big. That’s taking away a lot of time that you should be investing in your own career development. NTA

MrsNobodyspecial67

NTA. Does your sister know how much food costs? If she wants to buy the food and bring it over, and provide the disposable to go boxes then I think you should do it. I cook for people all the time for free, but they pay for the food. If you enjoy it, it gives you experience. But only if she pays for the food and costs associated with it.

anonymousforever

You have a job and a life. Tell her your deal is that she will spend an entire afternoon one day where you can show her how you prepare the recipes. Sometimes even with a recipe, it tastes different because the seasonings varied. A pinch to one person ain’t the same amount to airher.

Glad_Bobcat92

NTA

Sounds like your sister is trying to leverage your relationship with her to get a favor. You are totally justified to ask for groceries to be covered and your time to be paid for. Otherwise, they’re really just trying to get free groceries

jeffprop

NTA. Why don’t you go over and show her how you made the meals so she can do it herself? Or you could make a video for her to watch and learn. You could then tell her ingredients she can swap out to keep it healthy and still taste good.

SmartQuokka

They want to offload not only the cost but the food prep labour onto you.

NTA

Helping family is an occasional babysitting or taking the kids out for the day to the local fair, not being a long term personal chef, on your dime.

Dry-Fortune-6724

This is ridiculous. The kids won’t eat the food sister makes because the kids KNOW they will get “something” AND dessert, even if they don’t eat the “yuckie” food. They need to learn better parenting skills.

xoxoyoyo

NTA: Hey, do something for me please, because I can’t be bothered to learn how to do it myself. Offer her a couple of cooking lesson sessions and that’s it.

fiestafan73

Being a good brother does not mean becoming her personal chef. Your sister is entitled AF. Give her some recipes and tell her to feed her own kids. NTA

GSD_enthusiast

Muahahahaha. No.
NTA
she can buy the ingredients and you can show her how to cook it. Once.
If she keeps bitching, stop baby sitting. Simple

mosaicskeletons

NTA, food is expensive, cooked and prepared food even more so, if she wants you to continue feeding her children she needs to pay you for it

Cav-2021

Your sister is taking advantage of you. Tell her if she wants you to cook for her kids she needs to pay for the food and your time period.

webpoke

NTA but she did just give you a great new business idea – Making and packaging hidden healthy kids meals! Move over crappy lunchables 😆

Jealous-Contract7426

NTA – at the very least she should be paying for the food but your time also doesn’t belong to her and you have already done a favor.

dstarpro

NTA, but maybe negotiate something with your sister, where she supplies you with the ingredients for a once or twice a week meal?

Dog_Concierge

People who call you a bad (uncle, sister, friend) are just angry because you won’t do what they want. Live your own life. NTA.

rst012345

Perfect opportunity for whole family cooking lessons. From the sounds of it though, she just wants an easy out.

Nta

OldLady_1966

NTA if she isn’t going to pay for the supplies. There is a big difference between shopping and cooking for 3 and 1

RightConversation461

What if you suggested she come watch you cook, and learn to make what her kids will eat. You’re not their mother.

Particular-Lime1651

What? No? Obviously. If she was going to pay for the food, and something for your time.. Then absolutely not. Nta

karamaje

NTA- it’s one thing to feed them when you’re watching them, but personal chefs get paid. Food isn’t free.

East_Parking8340

With the prices of groceries these days…..

NTA – your parenting her children and saving her the trouble.

thick-standards90

So she’s willing to pay you to watch them, but won’t pay you to feed them? That math ain’t mathen. NTA.

Ok-Pundet9273

Cost the food , mKe youtube instruction vids and provide a cost comparison with your trade and skills

Dominique-Gleeful

Nta they aren’t your kids or your problem. SHE chose to have them SHE can feed them.

lmmontes

NTA. Consider cooking with her to show her how to do it but no on her request.

LowBalance4404

I have absolutely read this before, but still NTA. Making meals costs money.

hymie_funkhauser

YTA because you come to Reddit instead of working shit out with your sister.

PurpleNoneAccount

NTA. Your sister’s sense of entitlement is off the charts.

Mountain_Day7532

NTA. Stop babysitting, she’s taking advantage.

Routine-Friend-7585

Thats taking advantage of you.

Conclusion

The original poster (OP) is caught between honoring his family role by helping his sister and maintaining appropriate boundaries regarding his time and culinary skills. The central conflict stems from the sister viewing the OP’s cooking as an unpaid, ongoing familial obligation rather than a service that was temporarily provided and compensated for.

Is the OP being an unreasonable brother and uncle by refusing to provide daily, free, custom meal preparation for his sister’s picky children, or is the sister demanding an unsustainable level of free labor under the guise of family support?