Attraction waxes and wanes. My husband and i are approaching our 50s and we are both aware we arent as attractive as we were right now. Age gets men and women both. That said, if attraction is the only thing that kept him home all these years and without it he wants to go, let him. He never loved you. Id tell the adult kids what he said anyway, whether he goes right away or not. Make sure you get a recording of him saying it. So the kids know you arent lying. Then they are prepared for what may come. And if you decide to initiate the split, they will understand why. Doesnt matter if they pick a side or not or even if they take his side. Better to know the truth either way.

Ive seen plenty of post menopausal women looking absolutely georgous and it gives me hope that this phase will pass.

My husband stays by my side because our marriage was built slowly on love and facing hardships together.

It was a rough road and a lot of work. Neither of us wants to start all over again with a stranger who we have to grow into again.

I mean this is part of getting older our looks will all change it’s sounds like you are trying you’re hardest I’m 31 and been with my fiancé for 7 years she’s had three kids and has gained some weight and I love her more then when we first met we are all going to change with age but at a point when we’re late 30s 40 s 50s we’re not going to look the same that’s just life he sounds like a asshole I mean Jesus you are 51 not in ur 30s or 40s anymore dude probably has to take the blue pill to get it up anymore tell you’re kids they deserve to know what a dick of a father they have I’m sorry am glad to hear you are trying but try for you not him I wish you the best

Menopause is miserable, it not only screws with our bodies but also our self esteem. I am the same age as OP , going through it now. The weight is bad but for me, it’s the hot flashes/night sweats I’m having a real hard time with. I have to say my husband has been really helpful, supportive with me. My opinion to OP is divorce him before he divorces you, don’t let him make you feel a certain way about yourself. He is cruel, inconsiderate and selfish. You deserve better 

Don’t change for him,

Get HRT For YOU

Get excellent dermatologist etc For YOU

Eat only HEALTHY DELICIOUS life-enhancing Foods For YOU

Join the Gym for YOU

Find excellent friendships For YOU

Do Intelligent interesting positive useful fun physical mental activities For YOU

Perhaps getting on Birth control pills or Progesterine Estrogen etc, Magic mushrooms, DHA, DEHA, and such For YOU

Yep, YTA: if someone doesn’t want to be with you for any reason, blackmailing them with shame is emotional abuse. He doesn’t find you attractive which is triggering to you, and as someone in a similar situation, I can understand why. But he’s being honest and not wasting your time by lying and staying in a marriage of convenience. Let him go.

NTA but I wouldn’t want to stay married to someone who thought this about me. Do not base your worth on such a small man I bet he doesn’t look the same as he did when you guys first got married. You don’t have to be attractive to him or anyone else you just have to be attractive to the right one. And you will be.

NTA not even close. My ex husband said I changed during Chemo…. Yup. And he bailed. I also started menopause at the same time. I had bad chemo rash as well.
Try tirazepatide it’s been amazing for my skin and weight. And tell him to not let the screen door hit him on the way out.

Even if you lose weight and the acne gets managed, you’ll always hear his cruel words when you’re not feeling confident, or when you’re having a bad day or when he looks at you a little wrong. The trust is lost.
Being alone is so much better than being with a cruel person.

First time my long distance bf flew out to see me I had the worst cystic breakout of my life, and horrible period that came 1 week early. No makeup, it was 98 out and humid. Best week of my life.
Point being someone who loves you doesn’t care, you deserve better

Get rid of that loser. I bet you’re beautiful! Who gives a shit about acne? (Except that I’m sure it hurts and is uncomfortable for you, I just mean who cares about acne on other people?) did he marry you to love you or look at you?

If he’s divorcing you over that then he doesn’t love you. Why would u wanna be with someone who doesn’t love or wanna be with you? Sounds like you’re trying to blackmail him if he leaves you. You may find more happiness alone.

YTA. Threatening him, to make him stay is not the move. You want someone who wants you. If he doesn’t want to stay in the marriage, let him go. Let him divorce you. I’d tell him, “don’t threaten me with a good time”! Bye!

NTA. Also not cruel, just honest. Of course you should tell your adult children about his behaviour! And tell him to use his bloody imagination if he doesn’t find you attractive, just like you’ve had to all these years 😉

NTA. You might find that kicking him out of your life would remove the emotional stress of being married to someone who is not your friend or true partner and the menopausal symptoms you describe might disappear.

Sounds like it’s mostly about your weight, which you have control of. Get healthier. He didn’t say anything about divorce according to your post. Just that you let yourself go. The acne is not the problem.

Of course, you should talk to your adult children about the reasons for a breakup of their parents.

When my husband acts like he could do better, I remind him that I come from a long line of widows.

NTA, as a former husband I can honestly say that wouldn’t be a reason for me to divorce my wife. That’s a part of life and your husband should be more emotionally supportive.

Yeah, the kids don’t really care why.
Adults or not. But are you thinking this will make him stay longer? Bad move, but you go ahead on. (Really?
I’ll tell the kids?)

If my father was so shallow as to divorce my mother over her being a normal aging human woman, I would certainly want to know.

NTA

Telling the truth is always your right. It’s insane that he would expect you to lie for him after he divorced you.

Unrelated to your relationship issues but menopause can be managed with hormone replacement therapy. It helps a lot

NTA

Does he think you are going through all this on purpose??

You are NTA but your spouse certainly is.

nta. did he think he could drop you like a used tissue and not face consequences? Doesn’t work like that.

NTA

Everyone wants the truth.

Please stop indulging your partners lies.

Cheaters need to be exposed!

Why do you want to blackmail someone into being with you? If he’s that shallow, he’s not worth it.

Info: I may be reading this too literally but did he mention divorce or did you bring it up? /gen

Absolutely divorce him and absolutely let your kids know. This worm doesn’t deserve grace.

NTA

Let him. And when the kids ask why, dont shelter him from his own shitty decisions.

Bit…but I thought Reddit said anybody can break up with anybody else for any reason…?

He expects you to protect his image with the kids after this? No, you are NTA.

Gonna bet your attitude during menopause was more of a factor than your looks.

NTA but honestly it seems like you should be the one divorcing him.

Look into functional medicine – for YOURSELF! You deserve relief.

YTA. You are trying to keep a man with you by using blackmail.

In this situation you can be the “A” lol

Have your thyroid levels checked. 

Kiehl’s face wash helped my face!

Have you tried being prettier?