Your mom in in contact with you. She *knows* you are ok. She should be satisfied with that. (But you know she will not be, you know she will wheedle your address out of *somebody*, eventually. Too many people know your address).

OP, you are very much legally an adult, and you can do what you want. And if you don’t want your disapproving, overly controlling, and opinionated mom showing up on your doorstep whenever she feels like it, you will keep your address from her.

And grey rock her. You will be happier for it. NTA

NTA at all. Sounds like things could escalate and get out of hand quickly if your parents were to ever show up (most likely looking for trouble/confrontation). If I were you, I’d tell your mom that your emergency contacts will let her know if anything were to happen and leave it at that.

Just be sure to have a talk with your sister to let her know how serious you are about this, and that it would constitute a gross violation of your trust if she were to give your mom your address.

NTA. Pick up the phone and tell those people that due to their inappropriate behavior and the way they treated your BF you will not be giving them your address.

Tell them to self reflect, that they owe both of you an apology, and if they can’t do that you wish them well and go NC.

They sound racist, classist, or some form of religious stupidity so I wonder why you would even want that in your life.

NTA

They can reach you by phone if they ‘need’ to get in touch with you. As long as you respond to them in a timely manner, even if only by text, there is no reason for them to claim to be worried.

Your boyfriend took you in when you were being hatefully abused. He has stated he does not want them to know. Please do not betray his trust by telling them. It isn’t just about your safety, but his as well.

NTA- You are a grown adult with parents who do not approve of your relationship. How much of your mother “wanting to make sure you are safe” is related to her bigotry? What sort of emergency requires she knows your address? Your sister knows your address. Can’t she be in charge of coming to your home for emergencies? There is no situation where your mother NEEDS to know your address.

NTA

How do you feel about using sort of Catch-22 manipulation?

Tell her that if anything would happen to you, your boyfriend knows their contacts and will call them.

If she can’t agree with that it means she thinks that your boyfriend may be the one who will hurt you.

And it proves that she doesn’t accept your relationship, so you can’t trust her with your adress.

NTA but I do believe your mother loves & cares about you.

To relieve her worries you *could* give her the phone numbers of one or two of your close friends (get them to agree first) so if you ever disappear she has somebody to contact.

EDIT – someone says your sister knows where you live. That’s good enough and I withdraw my suggestion.

NTA I don’t know what your culture is but I hope it’s not one that descends to “honour killings” because a daughter is seeing the “wrong man”.

Your safety is more important than your parent’s need to control you.

Do you really think your mother will stand up to your father when he demands your address so he can teach you a lesson.

Your mom said you are being inconsiderate towards her? This same women who stalked you, attacked you and your boyfriend verbally?

Please dont tell her, like every comment I have seen so far, this is a trap. NTA, maybe it’s time to go full NC with your parents for a while.

>My boyfriend said that it’s ultimately my choice but he’d prefer that my dad doesn’t find out lol.

I was on your side until this line. What is the lol for? Are you getting a kick out of rebellion and putting your bf in an unsafe situation? I’d say YTA.

NTA. Is your mom a trauma surgeon? First responder? SWAT team coordinator? How exactly does she intend to use your address to keep you safe?

These parents who want information, grace, spare keys, etc, that they’re not entitled to is wild.

NTA It’s a trap! Of course it’s a trap.This whole mess started when these people followed you and spied on you. You escaped. That’s the thing your mom and dad are most upset with now. Not your safety. That you are out of their reach.

NTA. Once you give that address you can’t take it back, so if they decide to be difficult or controlling, you’ll have more trouble getting away from them. I say them because she’ll absolutely tell your father.

NTA but you will be if you give her that address. That’s your boyfriend’s place, your priority should be only worrying about his safety. Period.

Tell your mom that you’re safe as long as her and your father don’t have your address. Trust your gut here and don’t feel bad for doing so. NTA

NTA. I guess your Dad not knowing is to keep you safe. Tell your mother that until they both change their ways you don’t want them to know.

NTA. You’re an adult yet your mum and dad acted as if you were still a kid. I wouldn’t give them my address if I were in your shoes.

Nta don’t tell them the address and be prepared to have to move. Stalking? What other crimes would she be willing to commit?

NTA, but prepare for what you’d do if she finds out through other means, because if she followed you once, she will again.