Amidst the chaos of a world in crisis, he doesn’t just keep the restaurant alive—he ignites it. Tripling the clientele, pioneering new ways to connect, and carrying every role from chef to accountant, he stands as the unseen force behind the success. This is more than a job; it’s a battle fought with love, sweat, and an unbreakable commitment to his family’s future.
My dad owns a restaurant and intends to leave it to one of his kids. My sister who is 28 was not interested and went to be a hairdresser and my brother who is 29 is in uni. Meanwhile I (I am 25) went to cook school and graduated 2 years ago.
I love to cook, I love to experiment, I love working in the restaurant business despite the hours being very long, so I have been designated as the heir more or less.
Despite everything going on the restaurant runs great and frankly, I take full credit for it. Ever since I took over as head chef, revamped the menu, created a system for people to order and pick up food and so on the amount of customers has tripled.
We actually make more during this crisis even without allowing dine-in customers than my dad made before I worked here full time. Atop that I also often work when someone falls through (Be it kitchen work, serving, hosting whatever), I manage most of the accounting and I also started a social media presence for the restaurant which has blown up locally.
Long story short, I work a minimum of 60 hours a week often more.
Now I do all of this with love, I like it despite swallowing up all my time but that brings us to what I make. I literally make as much as the serving staff (Who are all under 20) would make if they worked full time, that is to say, I make what they would make in 40 hours while working 60+ hours and having triple the workload and I am tired of it.
I tried speaking to my dad about it but I kept getting inconclusive answers or dishonest answers. For example, he talks about it being a difficult time for restaurants so he cannot increase my wages despite the fact we make more during the crisis, or things like “I’ll think about it”.
I can barely pay my goddamn rent at this rate let alone save even a dime. So I ended up saying what is in the title, I could get another job like yesterday (Extreme shortage of chefs) and make at least double what I make right now starting out.
Obviously this led to my dad and family blowing up at me and now I am worried if I am the asshole.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is deeply invested in the family restaurant, having significantly improved its performance through hard work and innovation, yet they are severely undercompensated, earning wages comparable to entry-level staff despite working 60+ hours a week. The central conflict arises from the OP’s justifiable demand for fair pay versus the father’s evasive or dismissive responses, leading the OP to threaten to leave and potentially jeopardize the succession plan.
Given the OP’s documented success in tripling revenue and assuming massive responsibility, was the ultimatum to seek double pay elsewhere a reasonable defense of their professional worth, or did it unfairly pressure the family dynamic? Should the father prioritize immediate cash flow by fairly compensating the heir apparent, or is the OP’s expectation of higher wages premature while the business succession is still technically unresolved?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your dad is just using you for cheap labor. He’s banking on the fact that because you are his daughter, you’ll understand and put up with it. Any other regular employee in that scenario would be looking for a better paying job too and probably would quit.
I’d just be honest with you dad here. You don’t *want* to leave, but you can’t keep living like this and barely affording to pay rent. If you left, your dad would have to hire someone else in your absence and pay them at competitive rates anyways.
If he still won’t commit to that, then go find yourself a job with competitive pay. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice a decent living just to do your father/family a huge favor.
NTA for telling your father you want a raise, but since his view of you is of an indentured servant because you’re ‘family’ and it’s a ‘family business,’ then maybe you should go find out how it works in the ‘real world.’ The more experience and success you get working at other places, the more he might get a different p.o.v. of you. Because I don’t know if you can get him to change his mindset about you just through discussion if your actions so far at his business haven’t changed his opinion of you.
Edited typo/grammar.
If the business is going to be yours one day (you mention being the heir) then it may be that your father is seeing your additional input into the business as an investment in your own future.
I think he needs to pay you (and everyone he employs) a living wage, but if you’re a partner in this business, his opinion on how you get paid may be different.
>I could get another job like yesterday(Extreme shortage of chefs) and make at least double what I make right now starting out.
Your response needs to be a callous, unblinking, *laugh*. When they cry and shout, laugh even more.
“I need to be making X. If you can’t provide X then I’ll get X somewhere else.”
Come with a FULL list of your duties and pay rates from other restuarants.
You are being exploited. You don’t have to take that.
It’s clear that you have been a huge asset and you deserve to be compensated as such.