Years later, in 2004 when the daughter turned 18, support payments of $64 per week suddenly began being deposited. When the ex-husband called to stop the payments, the poster informed him he was still responsible for the accumulated back support and interest. He responded by quitting his job to avoid the garnishment. Decades later, in 2021, he contacted the poster asking her to forgive over $65,000 in accumulated back support, promising to pay $300 monthly directly if she did so, leading the poster to question her reaction to this request.
My ex (M62, now) and I (F64, now) got divorced with one infant child in 1987. His support until 1992 was $50/month. He never paid this. He never worked for a pay check, only for cash.
In 1992 I went to increase his support to be what he would pay if he earned federal minimum wage. He never paid. Never saw my daughter after she turned 7 in 1993, no cards, calls, nothing.
Which is good and left our family to be a family!
Fast forward to 2004, my daughter is now 18 yo. I start to receive small child support deposits of $64/week. I am shocked and dismayed but happy. A few weeks later I get a call from my ex, Shannon, saying “isn’t she 18 now?
Tell them to stop taking the support.”. I laughed and said no, you will always owe the back amount, plus interest. I can’t stop it. So he quits working.
Then no word from him for years. Comes to 2021 I get a call from Shannon. Surprised by this I ask why the hell he wants. He wants me to fill out a form to FORGIVE his past support of $65,000+.
He SWORE that he would then pay me directly $300/mo until the balance is paid, 217 months. Now remember he’s been under a court order to pay me child support since Sept 1987 and has paid nothing.
When it was taken from his pay, rather than work, he chose to quit his job.
I found out through some online research that this was about the time that the AG of TX, where Shannon lived with his wife, had filed a lien against Shannon for the back child support amount.
I had no clue this was done! So Shannon’s wife doesn’t want him to be on their single wide deed because of the lien, so she divorces him.
This is why he wants me to forgive his child support, he was losing his sugar momma!!
He’s called three times since then and just when I stop laughing I get another call from him.
Am I the asshole for laughing at him, in his old age, for not letting him off the hook for this $65,000+ in back child support that I KNOW I will never see a dime of?
Conclusion
The poster is in a position where her ex-husband, who intentionally avoided court-ordered financial responsibilities for decades, is now seeking relief from a significant debt ($65,000+) due to his own actions, specifically because the debt is now affecting his current living situation. The poster feels justified in laughing at his predicament, given his long history of parental abandonment and financial evasion.
The central conflict lies between the poster’s moral satisfaction in holding him accountable for his past failures versus the practical reality that she is unlikely to ever collect the money owed. Should the poster continue to refuse to forgive the debt, even if it remains uncollectible, or should she consider his offer as a way to secure some financial closure, however small, in his later years?
Here’s how people reacted:
So I started entering orders for people who’d been terminated but had been hired at least twice, and set up an alert of anyone with an order was re-hired. And I’d get on the phone with the CS office for that state (barring a couple that were a PITA) and let them know he’d been re-hired and could they fax in a current order? Sometime I’d have active orders two or three days after they were hired. Surprise, buddy!
My ex did pretty much the same.
He ended up getting injured at work and was able to collect disability.
Our youngest was 18 and had just joined the military.
The government had his child support coming off of that disability and I collected for a number of years. It paid for daycare for our granddaughter.
Since he had lied to everyone that he paid his child support all along, they wondered why I could get it after the youngest was 18. He told them I was just greedy.
You aren’t laughing alone.
My ex complained that after the wage garnishment (I had been supporting my daughter by myself for 10 years by then), that he didn’t even have enough money to buy cologne… I’m like, I guess you’re just going to have to stink then!!! I got a few of his tax returns once he decided to get a real job. You keep on laughing every time he calls. I’ll be laughing with you 😂
https://www.aarp.org/retirement/social-security/questions-answers/social-security-garnished.html#:~:text=Court%2Dordered%20child%20support%20or,percent%20if%20you%20are%20not.
Check with an attorney or Social Security Office.
So you can laugh all the way to the bank (and make no deposit once you reach your destination).
NTA
Hes only trying to get you to forgive it because he’s probably getting hit up for tax evasion now that the SSRI age is coming around
And as far as laughing, I’m sitting here laughing so still NTA!
NTA
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Let the AH be homeless and single.
I’d laugh at him too haha