The sting of humiliation was compounded by the raw confrontation that followed, revealing the painful divide between authenticity and judgment. In that charged exchange, resilience surfaced—not just in standing firm against disrespect, but in reclaiming dignity when it was threatened most.
I was at a fairly large fundraiser I organised tonight and it got completely ruined by my ex friend, let’s call her Jenna.
I’m quite open with my friends about my line of work (Sex Work) but I’m not with family and those I don’t know well.
During the event I was talking to a group and Jenna blurts out “She can donate so much because she makes so much making porn.” I was stunned. It became incredibly awkward. I pulled Jenna aside and asked her what the hell?
She said it wasn’t a big deal. I told her it’s a big deal to me. It’s not her information to share. She tried dismissing it and I got angry. I told her to leave. It became a heated argument.
After some back and forth I told her that at least I work for my money and don’t need a rich partner that I don’t love to get the lifestyle I want (That is true, she told me in the past she’s only with her boyfriend because he’s rich) She still refused to leave and continued to cause a scene.
Eventually I called security and had her kicked out.
After the event I checked my phone. The argument we had got recorded, but only from part way through, so the bit about my work is missing, but there is the part with what I said about her partner and her being kicked out.
It had been shared within our circle a lot.
Jenna had blown up my phone! She is furious. Apparently her boyfriend saw it and broke up with her. She told me I humiliated her and ruined her relationship.
AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced a severe breach of privacy when a former friend publicly revealed their occupation at a major event, leading to conflict and the friend’s removal. The OP reacted strongly, defending their boundaries and escalating the argument by commenting on the friend’s relationship, which subsequently led to the friend losing her partner.
Was the OP justified in revealing private information about the friend’s relationship dynamics as retaliation for the initial breach of privacy, or did this action cross an ethical line regarding personal boundaries, despite the friend’s initial harmful disclosure?
Here’s how people reacted:
1) She, obviously, for starting this whole thing, sharing information that wasn’t hers to share in a way that is obviously catty and jealous, and refusing to leave afterward.
2) You apparently organized this fundraiser, so you should have acted way more professionally. Pulling her aside, asking what the hell, saying that it wasn’t her info to share, and asking her to leave was great. But when she didn’t leave, you should have immediately called security and had her escorted out instead of engaging in an argument and saying stuff about her boyfriend.
3) Whoever recorded and shared your argument online for sh\*ts and giggles. People have no sense of “this is not my business, nor does it belong online” these days.
If I wouldn’t want my mom to find out about something I was doing, I probably shouldn’t do it.
If you’re ashamed of showing your butt hole to strangers for money only because your parents and family found out, maybe you shouldn’t do it.
Asshole.
Not gonna feel sorry for a self confessed gold-digger who thinks she has right to shame/out you
Doubt she was ever a true friend.
Say bye bye Jenna and then block her.
Maybe she’ll start an onlyfans account to earn a living.
she put your business out there in the world, so you put her business out there too. it’s not your fault that her relationship was built on lies. they were bound to break up anyway, relationships like those don’t last long.
The only person who complains after a fight is the looser. She started the fight but you won and now the looser complains. Sit back, relax and enjoy your victory.
You need to remove this toxic person from your life. Get rid of everyone that tells you that you’re wrong or asks you to make up with her.
But also INFO: who made and shared the video? Has the video also outed you as a sex worker because that really sucks of them too then.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe next time she’ll think twice before throwing rocks from her glass house.
Come on now. Just admit you clipped out the self-incriminating parts and blasted it everywhere.