Her mother’s control has been suffocating, a constant shadow tracking her every move, stripping away any chance of freedom or privacy. Even as she pleads for space to simply be a child, the grip tightens, leaving her isolated and exposed, struggling to reclaim her voice in a home where her vulnerabilities are weaponized against her.
I am a 14-year-old female with Asperger’s, Anxiety, and insomnia. I recently found out my mom has been recording conversations and then sharing them on her Snapchat for her friends’ entertainment.
She has been adding text that says things along the lines of “The struggles of a mentally disabled child” or “Don’t you love aspergers?”. I find this annoying and asked her to stop recording me without my permission, but she has done it again.
On top of this, she has been talking to people about things I said to her when we were alone.
My mom was a serious helicopter parent. For years, I wasn’t able to leave the house without calling her every 30 minutes. She always had trackers on me, my phone, my backpack, my journals—almost everything.
If I took it places with me, it had a tracker. I had asked her to stop being so controlling and to let me be a kid. She reluctantly agreed, but I’m not sure if the trackers are still in use or in my belongings.
Recently, I was talking about my issues with dating and how being bi and mentally disabled is difficult. She recorded this conversation, and when I saw she was recording, I asked her to stop and delete it.
She did because “it’s not as funny when you realize.” This makes me believe she has done this more than the few times I’ve known about. I have started distancing myself from her, being less affectionate, and telling her less about my personal life.
She keeps asking me to talk to her more, and I don’t. I don’t trust her anymore. Am I the asshole?
Conclusion
The original poster is experiencing a significant breach of trust due to her mother recording private conversations, adding humiliating captions, and sharing them publicly. Her emotional response is one of justified withdrawal and a loss of confidence in her mother’s respect for her privacy and dignity, especially given her pre-existing mental health conditions.
Is the mother’s behavior an understandable, albeit misguided, attempt to share the realities of parenting a teenager with special needs, or is it a profound violation of trust and privacy that warrants the teenager’s complete emotional withdrawal? Where should the line be drawn between a parent’s desire to share experiences and a child’s absolute right to confidentiality?
Here’s how people reacted:
“to publicly embarrass her to my friends” would not make my list
NTA.
Your mom has found an incredibly strange way to destroy her relationship with you. She has ruined trust in what she says for sure, but more importantly, her attitude shows that she doesn’t care about you. she only cares when social media blip she can cause by exposing you.
The idea of exposing you BECAUSE IT’S FUN makes me writhe in anger.
Do you have another parent or a therapist that:
1. you can talk to honestly, so you don’t have to hide yourself from everyone
2. that can tell her how much harm she is doing? and to cut it the duck off?
15M with Asperger’s here. I understand being protective, and on extremely rare occasions, recording convos, but NEVER would I tolerate it being posted on Snapchat. That is psychologically harassing you. If you can sever ties with her entirely, do it, and FAST. Failing that, going to a counselor, social worker, or therapist is your best bet. Good luck.
Also:
>she did \[it\] because “it’s not as funny when you realize”
WTF IS WRONG WITH HER?
Autism moms, Jesus Christ. They’re like a biblical plague.
Your mom is getting an ego boost from a lot of your interactions here, mostly related to how she handles your disability. This isn’t really uncommon, a lot of parents take on a “martyr” stance in parenting a kid with disabilities.
Don’t give into her. Keep a safe and healthy distance until she either learns to be a healthier person and treat you with respect, or you can move out.
Are you fucking kidding? That’s so fucked up on so many levels, I can’t even begin.
Fuck. Kid, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Why would you even think you’re the asshole? Is she making you feel bad about this? You need to know you have no blame here, and she’s entirely the one who’s messed up.
NTA.
Your mom sounds like a terrible person.
Does she also take videos of cancer patients to make fun of their (lack of) hair?
How about the laugh riot of wounded veterans trying to walk? They can barely do it! Her friends would think it’s hilarious!
Like what the actual fuck?
No, NTA! But, don’t stop talking to her, talk *more* with her, specifically about how hurtful and humiliating her actions here are and demand she stop immediately!
This is so bad it sounds fake.
Don’t. Talk. To. Her.
If she takes a pic or records you, break her phone.
If you find a tracker, put it on a bus.
You are not to blame for your mother’s behavior, you can only react in the way that hurts you less.
you would also not be an asshole to bluntly tell her “I don’t talk to you because i don’t trust you not to record me”
Might piss her off, but does not make you an asshole.