Yet beneath her steady exterior, a brewing storm looms—her boss’s unforgiving three strikes rule hangs over everyone’s heads like a guillotine, ready to fall at the slightest misstep. In this high-stakes environment where compassion meets strict discipline, she faces an invisible test of endurance and resilience that threatens to upend the fragile balance of her professional life.
I am a 25-year-old female hospice nurse working for a home hospice company. All nurses are salaried and set their own hours, which is a desirable arrangement, especially for parents.
We are required to take turns being on call overnight, roughly every two weeks.
All of my coworkers have children, except for me. In three years, I have asked them for virtually nothing and have never called out of an on-call shift. Our boss has a strict three-strikes rule: calling out three times within a year results in firing, unless the shift is traded.
A mandated coverage counts against the nurse.
We hired Mandy, four months ago. She has already called out twice. Her husband is active duty and deploys often, and she has four children and struggles with childcare.
This past Monday was Mandy’s on call shift. She emailed begging for coverage because her babysitter was sick. I offered to trade her if she worked Valentine’s Day for me. I thought it was a win-win: I get Valentine’s Day off for a date, and Mandy avoids being fired.
Mandy declined the trade, saying her husband returns Thursday and they needed that night as their marriage was near divorce. She asked if she could just work a day for me next month instead.
I refused, stating that was not acceptable. She tried to guilt and shame me, so I told her she was on her own. She pleaded with me and our boss, but Mandy was ultimately fired.
I sense my boss and some coworkers view me negatively, as I had the free time and lack the family obligations they have. AITAH?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) finds themselves in a difficult situation where their adherence to fairness, based on past exchanges, clashed directly with a coworker’s urgent need driven by family instability. The OP upheld their personal standard of reciprocity, which resulted in the coworker being fired due to the company’s strict policy.
Considering the OP’s established pattern of reliability versus the coworker’s immediate crisis, was the OP obligated to offer assistance without demanding an immediate, equivalent trade, or was their refusal a justified defense of their personal time against repeated demands?
Here’s how people reacted:
And not for nothing, everyone at work who thinks you’re kind of the AH since you had “free time” and “no kids” needs to eff right off. People need to stop this weird, judgmental shaming mindset that people with no kids are REQUIRED to give up their free time to those with kids. That’s a very pathetic way to think.
Mandy knew the policy from your boss and didn’t have her priorities straight. Even if you had covered for her it would have just delayed the inevitable for a few weeks until she had another issue.
But Mandy decided her valentines date was more important than keeping her job shows where her priorities lie. NTA you gave her a very reasonable offer. If I were in her position I would’ve canceled or rescheduled my valentines date no problem.
You offered a fair trade, and Mandy refused. It wasn’t your responsibility to save her from being fired, especially when she already had two strikes and knew the policy. You’re not obligated to cover for someone just because you don’t have kids. If her marriage was truly on the line, she should have prioritized keeping her job over a Valentine’s Day date. The company has clear rules, and she made her choice. Your coworkers can judge, but you didn’t fire her—her own poor planning did.
Not saying life as a single mom is easy by any means but a marriage that will fail because they don’t go out on valentine’s day (as opposed to the next day or the day before ?) Is pretty much over
You are well rid of this woman
NTA
Also, instead of her husband coming home to a date night a few days after Valentines, he comes home to an unemployed spouse. That’s also on her.
Yah this is a fake story, and YTA for posting it.
Calling out 3 times in 4 months is egregious for anyone. She is responsible for finding adequate childcare. I have children. You have to have back ups on back ups & give up evenings out. She could have a nice dinner with her husband another night, it doesn’t HAVE to be V-day. She should have accepted the trade.
NTA
Poor planning on someone else’s part does not constitute an emergency on yours.
Even if all you planned to do on your own day off was to lie on the couch and binge watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, her problem is her problem.
Here’s the thing though…she’s been there 4 months and already skipped her on call shift twice. It was just a matter of time before she got to the 3rd one.
She did this to herself.
NTA
The coworkers that think you’re an asshole- could have covered her.
YTA for trolling