Probably bad timing with introducing the girlfriend to the family, but otherwise… it’s completely normal, they’re just talking.

I get that you want more of the focus, but that doesn’t always happen especially if there are more interesting things to talk about like a new gf being introduced (hence why it’s bad timing)
But do you want them to just sit and talk about bakeries the whole time? You might have to take some initiative there because they don’t know anything about it likely

And either way, separate from all that, you seem to hold a lot of resentment, especially towards your sister
I’m guessing here, but I’d imagine it’s probably a pattern where she tends to be more outgoing and take more spotlight and it’s probably always been that way

It’s okay if you want to feel that attention and focus yourself, but you shouldn’t resent your sister for it, and you definitely shouldn’t be making disparaging comments about her intimate life

If you want to work past it, at some point I’d suggest you apologize to your sister for blaming her for something she didn’t really even try to do, and then also tell her how you feel, and that you don’t feel appreciated or focused on enough.

This isn’t you vs sister.. it’s just you and your sister, you’re family. If it becomes you vs her, nothing will ever be resolved

NTA. You’re unhappy and I have nearly every sympathy for you.

My one reservation is that you were waiting for other people to acknowledge you – and yes, in an ideal world they should.

You had another option though, which is to take control of the evening.

You could have tapped your wine glass so that you had everyone’s attention, and then proposed a toast. Firstly to new friends (Elizabeth) and then to yourself.

“Now I’m going to propose a toast to me because I’m really happy you are all here tonight to celebrate my bakery. I am incredibly proud of what I’ve done so please drink up and cheer me on. I will be taking questions about the bakery for the rest of the night!”

That’s cheerful, upbeat, and reminds people pleasantly that you are important to the evening too. Would it have been best if someone else had done that for you? For sure. But at least this way you wouldn’t have been miserable all night.

I think you’re being a bit immature. From the way it sounds, your mother seems to have told you this was *your night,* but everyone else thought it was just another dinner at mom’s. You said yourself you do it regularly. If I was your sister I would be baffled at your childish attitude. The only person who *might* be an AH is your mom, if she told you this was a celebration dinner for you and in your honor but neglected to make that clear to anyone else.

And even if she did make it clear, this really just seems like an honest mistake by your sister. I mean, I had no idea that there was some kind of concrete rule that you can’t bring a new significant other to a celebratory gathering on the off chance that they sap some of the guest of honor’s precious attention. Honestly, you all sound like a bunch of children if this caused a big fight. What a silly thing to get worked up over.

YTA for blaming Alison for simply inviting her partner to a family dinner – also it’s super weird that you claim to have opened a bakery yet refer to it as a ‘job’ and makes me question everything you’ve said.

However I also think your family are assholes because there’s no reason that a new face should prevent the dinner from being about you and from them asking questions about your business.

You shouldn’t be blaming your sister for the actions of your other family members and you shouldn’t be making it uncomfortable for Elizabeth given she’s the only person who actually asked about your business.

NAH I don’t think your sister did it on purpose. In my experience the golden child rarely realizes how much more attention they get than their siblings. This is something your parents do but you have directed your anger over it at your sister. When you’ve cooled down a bit I think it’s worth a conversation with her about how you feel. If things go well it could lead to you two being closer, and maybe even her helping in directing more parental attention your way.

You are kind of an asshole for calling her a playgirl, how many people she sleeps with is no one’s business but hers.

This is sorta tough, but I’ll say ESH, referring to you and your parents.

Your parents are assholes for pretty obvious reasons that everyone else has pretty much already told you in these comments. You, however, are also an asshole for choosing to hold so much resentment against your sister rather than your parents. Like, “Alison is a playgirl that uses her law degree to get laid”. Seriously? That’s your opinion of your sister? Either you’re leaving out some major details about your relationship with Alison, or you’re an asshole.

INFO: How often does your mom host these dinners, and how often does your sister come home for them?

Because if this is a regular event (like every few months) done nominally this time to honor you that’s very different than a rare event specifically held for you (more akin to a graduation dinner). And if your sister lives an hour away and can get home frequently that’s very different than being an 8 hour plane ride away.

Idk, your sister could have brought the gf home any other night but lives in a different city? How far? The way it’s worded sounds like she can’t just bring her home some other night, no?

I think OP’s feelings are valid, but also don’t blame the sister. If anything, maybe you should bring it up to the ones you’re actually mad at, your parents, whom you’ve got this feeling of never being enough for.

YTA or ESH. You sound selfish, envious, bitter and someone who thinks that everything your sister does is wrong. She could’ve not come at all and you’d be still upset.

Personally I feel that’s petty thing to start family drama for. Family drama never involves just you and the other participant.

Poor Elisabeth. She must feel so umcomfortable to be welcomed in a family like that.

NTA. It was insensitive and I agree with you with her being wrong because she should have checked with you if it was okay. It was YOUR celebration, not hers. It wasn’t about her having to be in love, it was about your new job. It’s normal to feel guilt when you’ve been unseen your whole life, and with what your sister said, she made it seem you were selfish which you weren’t.

You sound super entitled for no reason. Your sister is an adult. She is allowed to bring her gf to meet the family. You are acting like her doing that was malicious towards you. Not everything is about you, nor should it be. It was a family dinner. If you wanted to talk about your bakery, your sister’s gf simply existing is not stopping you. YTA. A pitiful one at that.

NTA. You sulking is understandable especially with the context of Alison being the golden child and you feeling unseen. It is not that you are not happy for your sister, but indeed – she could have brought the gf to be introduced to the family at a different occasion.

ESH.

Alison for upstaging you, probably deliberately, at an event that was meant to be celebrating your achievement.

Your parents for letting her.

And you for this gratuitously nasty line: *Alison is a playgirl who uses her law degree to get laid.*

NTA.

She asked. You answered. Did she want you to lie? To suffer less obviously?

It’s strange the parents didn’t call it out either. But then they created this dynamic, so I guess it’s not all that surprising,

Your parents are TA here. If that’s the dynamic they’ve created and perpetuated I’m sure Alison has never even considered that the spotlight is always on her.

NTA-For wanting a dinner supposedly to celebrate you to be about you. Y T A for suggesting your sister uses her law degree to get laid.

YTA, you made it a problem. Nobody else did that. Yes they talked to her, so what?!?!?
Be glad for your sister and not so sour

When people have these types of meals do they genuinely expect that all people will talk about is them?